Meant To Be

Love

2012-01-22T20:45:00.001-05:00

How Do You Say Goodbye?

2012-01-21T22:18:00.003-05:00

On December 28, I visited with my Grandma and Grandpa. Amazing people and I was so glad to see them. I told my grandma about what I terrible mom I was in accidentally misinforming my youngest about his doctor's appointment and we laughed together. I told her I loved her and how glad I was to see her and how our Christmas card should be coming soon because I was super late sending it to them. I hugged her and told her I would see her later. She was tired but good. One week later, she sent my boys a sweet hand written note thanking them for the Christmas cards they had made them.

Today, we buried my Grandma. I would give anything for one more conversation, one more hug, a few more pictures. One week ago, her health declined and suddenly she was gone. It's been one of the worst weeks. The grief is intense. The reality is that I was never going to be ready to say goodbye. Her impact on my life is profound.

My beautiful grandma was the mom of 5, grandma of 21, and great-grandma of 36. She knew each of us well - she spent time with each of us, she wrote us letters, and she prayed for us. She loved her family, she was proud of us.

I have so many wonderful memories - homemade playdough, delicious food, lots of games (she was an awesome card player!), summer blueberry picking, fun picnics, and thoughtful letters and gifts. She exuded warmth, was always interested in what you had to say, and was always honest. Grandma was a woman of many talents but she was also incredibly humble.

Grandma and Grandpa were married for 69 years. A true example of love and commitment. They taught us by example. They loved each other well. They took care of each other. They continued to learn and grow in their marriage and shared that with the family.

One of the most beautiful things to me was her (and Grandpa's!) unconditional love and acceptance of our children. They were excited about our adoption plans and welcomed our children into the family. My grandma read them stories, played games with them, and made them feel every bit as special as she made me feel. We had a few extra opportunities to stop and visit with our treks to Chicago for Calvin's cleft team appointments and surgeries - super thankful for that. She was always interested in how Calvin was doing. Our boys loved her.

I hear her voice and laugh, feel her touch, sense her presence. I look in the mirror and see the green eyes that we shared. She probably would have hated all the fuss today but she would have loved everyone being together. As I witnessed my grandpa telling her goodbye, saw her gorgeous face one last time, heard her words through her journal, and watched her 9 grandsons care for her one last time as pall bearers, I wept. The tears have come all week. The finality. My heart feels broken. I loved her SO much. I miss her SO much. Life will go on but it won't be quite the same.

She was one in a million. I'm thankful to be her granddaughter. I'm thankful for the amazing legacy and heritage.

I love you, Grandma. Thank you. You lived a gracious, faithful life. You inspired and challenged me. You ran the race, you finished well. See you later.

Alive & Well :)

2011-11-15T20:30:00.001-05:00

I wish I could get back in the blogging groove! We've had a busy fall.

Last week we enjoyed a week away at a cabin. It was quiet and peaceful and just what we needed. I took precisely zero pictures and Andrew took maybe six. We saw our first snow of the season which excited the boys - me...not so much. :) We visited a chocolate factory and enjoyed some delicious treats. And we went on one hike (it was a prairie maze) and went to one museum. We also visited with my sister and brother-in-law and some very good friends. I read Jane Eyre for the first time and loved it! It was a delightfully rare treat to be able to read so much - something I enjoyed so much when I was younger and find tough to squeeze in amidst everything (I tend to fall asleep two pages into reading at night :)). All in all, a great week.

I'm very excited that The Cooks Next Door re-launched this week. After a hiatus since mid-August and several conversations as well as a weekend retreat, Steph and & I decided to change some things and to bring it back to life. We are posting daily between now and Thanksgiving and then planning for 2-3 new posts/week after that. We also are tweeting (@cooksnextdoor) (I'm working hard to understand Twitter a little more) and we started a facebook fan page - you can "like" us here. I'm looking forward to collaborating with Stephanie - we will be bringing you all types of recipes including seasonal, simple, gluten-free, vegetarian, and more.

Well, we are back to reality this week and getting ready for the start of the holiday season - can you believe it's already here?! I'm busily cleaning and recovering from vacation while starting to think about all of the baking and cooking for next week. I love the cozy, warm feelings that the holidays bring to our home.

Any plans for you, readers? Are you baking, cooking, hosting? Any great recipes? I'm hoping to try a sweet potato pie with bacon this week!

The 5K!

2011-10-24T11:47:00.001-04:00

Saturday was a gorgeous day in Tennessee for the 5k! We over 100 participants - some familiar with Two Hearts for Hope and some who were not. I love the fact that we reached more people and spread the word! The race was awesome, the kids' race was adorable, and the time with old and new friends was priceless.

We are so excited that we raised nearly $8,000 for the window project in Ust! What a blessing to be working towards a healthier, better home for the many children in that baby house. It's not too late to donate - you can go to the Two Hearts website and make a donation online or mail it!

Special thanks to all of you who sponsored our family - I'm proud to say that all four of my men finished and Patrick was a top finisher in the kids' race! We raised $260! The boys are always so proud to be a part of this event and so aware of and concerned for "kids who don't have parents." We feel honored and blessed to be involved with Two Hearts.

(Pictures to come when we download them tonight!)

An Orphan's Hope 5K

2011-10-16T23:12:00.000-04:00

I guess I rely on facebook a little too much and I forget to mention things here. Anyway, An Orphan's Hope 5K (formerly Walk for Kaz) is this coming weekend in TN! We are so excited to be a part of this second annual event. It's not too late to join us!

What I love is that all of the money raised will go towards Two Hearts for Hope Window Project. The windows in this particular baby home are awful. The babies and children who live there are sick from the drafts and cold in the freezing winters. Will you consider helping us to help with this great need? Any amount will be a blessing and bring this huge project closer to completion. We so want these children to have a warm, safe, and healthy place to live.

We would love for you to join us or to sponsor/support our family for the 5K! You can paypal on the Two Hearts site and reference the 5K and our family or you can send a check to us our Two Hearts. All five of us will head down to participate - well, I will be helping to run the event and Andrew and the boys will be walking!

Thank you for considering partnering with our family!

Our boys have raised our awareness and challenged us to keep making a difference in the lives of the many children left behind.

So thankful for the boys entrusted to us!

Remembering & Celebrating!

2011-10-11T12:25:00.001-04:00

Five years ago, we were in the final week of our month long stay in the beautiful country of Kazakhstan. It had been a challenging and wonderful adventure and we were navigating our first days of parenting our new sons. We had one son who was terrified, timid, and unsure but slowly emerging from his shell and letting us see his personality and another son who was sick, starving, malnourished, confused and a clown.

October 4, 2006, the judge had granted our request to adopt Calvin and Patrick; October 5, the boys met for the first time and left their respective baby homes. The first night was a dream, my mommy heart was so full and so in awe. We boarded a plane for Almaty the very next morning - the boys had already been stretched far beyond the walls they had known for the first year plus of their lives.

We spent ten very difficult days in Almaty - new parents, grieving and scared children, no translator (most of the time), no transportation other than quite literally waving down rides (which we did many times - sometimes they were taxis, often they were just kind strangers), and no idea what the boys were used to eating. We lost 10+ pounds a piece as we struggled to be the best parents we could be and used many Nursat cards to connect to family at home for prayers and advice.

It was perhaps the happiest and lowest point of our journey. We were SO glad to be the parents of the sons we knew were ours but we were SO exhausted and overwhelmed. On October 15, We were sad to say goodbye to a country we had grown to love but we were so ready to be home. It was an emotionally draining 27 hour trip home.

We've had our ups and downs over the past five years - isn't that just the way parenting is? :) However, we would not change our journey, our gifts from God, our experience, and our eyes and heart being opened (and stretched) in life-changing ways. Not one bit. We can't imagine life any other way!

Adoption was always part of our plan - little did we know just how amazing it would be. Our boys, our sons have rocked our world. We love them with all of our hearts. Our lives are full.

We celebrate five years with a little bit of disbelief (where has the time gone?), with a lot of joy, and with more love and happiness then we could ever imagine.

The boys chose (for this momentous family day) to play at a park, go for a short hike, and enjoy an all-american dinner (cheeseburgers, fries, macaroni & cheese, salad, grapes, and blueberry cake with ice cream - all their choice :)). Andrew and I enjoyed reflecting on these blessed years of being their parents, of remembering the journey that brought us all together, and of anticipating the furture.

That Little Two-Letter Word

2011-10-09T08:12:00.003-04:00

I frequently ponder my responsibilities as a mother and lately those reflections have been on saying that little two-letter word...'no.' Too often, I find myself saying 'no' to my kids. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing to say but a lot of times, I think my reasons are selfish.

Here are the three main reasons, I think my response is negative:
1. I am too busy.
2. I do not want to do (and am not interested in) whatever is asked.
3. It is inconvenient for me.

When I look at the list, I notice a startling theme - those main reasons are ALL about me. There are, of course, other good reasons to say 'no' - safety, timing, etc. but those are not generally my main reasons.

The truth is...sometimes I will hear myself say that word and wonder why in the world I didn't just say 'yes.'

I don't get a re-do on this parenting thing, nor do I want my children's prevelent memories to be of me giving unnecessary and unreasonable negative responses. Honestly, I find that sometimes...I have created the discipline situations in our home by my lack of wisdom in the use of the word 'no.' Wow. That is not something I am proud of at all.

As I have continued reflecting and seeking to grow, I realize that my desire is to:
- Build trust.
- Have my 'no' be meaningful - not my knee-jerk response.
- Bring joy to our home.
- Love my kids better.
- Be a gentle example.

So, I'm working on saying 'yes' more often, pondering my 'no' before saying it, allowing myself to be "inconvienced," giving more of myself to my kids, showing more interest in their ideas, and realizing that these years are (in many ways) fleeting. I want to look back without regret and with joy. YES! YES! YES!

Coming Home

2011-09-27T07:35:00.003-04:00

This day dawns...the last day of my regular work life...for now. I worked at a practice downtown and a practice on the westside of town for years and then took a great new position in a start-up practice 1 1/2 years ago. It was a wonderful career move with fantastic co-workers, great patients, and the best boss anyone could ever want. The professional growth and the increased responsibility proved rewarding.

This summer it became clear that our beautiful boys needed me home. Homeschooling has little to do with it - though it will be nice to have a more consistent schedule. We realized that they needed the continuity and the stability as we worked through some things. Recently, we learned just how much the stressors of all three of our children's early development affects their actual brain chemistry. We need to be more proactive as we help them to continue to overcome the sad disadvantages that come with being from hard places. It takes more than love to bring healing and we are 100% committed. We feel incredibly blessed to be their parents and even during the tough times, we wouldn't have it any other way.

And if it's even possible, learning about how much the first year of life and even prenatal stress effects children makes me even sadder about the orphan plight. Praying that many, many children will find loving, committed homes and families. It has been hands down the most amazing, rewarding, challenging journey of our lives. We love our kids and we continue to advocate for orphans and for adoption. They have changed our lives, shifted our focus, and given us a deeper understanding of our own relationship with God. And, in many ways, we have changed their lives - I'm so thankful we all have each other.

So, it's with a mixture of sadness and joy and excitment that I end a chapter and begin a new one. How can I not be excited about being home with my sweet sons?! But in all honesty, I worry - even though I know God will provide and I know that this is His desire. So here's to trusting Him, finding joy in the journey, and embracing these years (that are passing too quickly!) with the boys. I can't wait!

The Burden

2011-09-21T08:23:00.001-04:00

147 million.
147,000,000.
This number is burdening me.
It has been on my heart for a long time now.
I think about it daily.
I pray that God makes our path clear.
I trust that He will continue to use us.
He has already enlarged my heart.
He is opening my eyes to need.
He is challenging my ideals.
It is sometimes painful.
It is sometimes hard and confusing.
It makes me love Him more.
It makes me love my children more.
My "plans" are changing.
Our vision is growing.
Orphans.
147 million.
Staggering.
Sad.
Unbelievable.
Epidemic.
What can I do?
What can WE do?
What can YOU do?

Food

2011-09-20T08:29:00.001-04:00

My husband had mono this past spring/early summer and therefore our garden was put in a little late. We have been anxiously awaiting the tomatoes and what beautiful ones we have! They are delicious - there is really nothing like homegrown tomatoes.

We are working on ideas for re-launching the cooking blog. I'm excited! My kitchen has been a bit boring of late although I enjoyed making a pound cake with berry sauce and honey whipped cream as well as trying a new pumpkin bar recipe (both made to share with others :)). It's soup season which I love and I'm planning to venture into the artisan bread world - the perfect fall and winter comfort meal in my opinion!

Not to Throw You Off...

2011-09-18T21:40:00.000-04:00

...but I'm posting again. Wow. I don't want to speak too soon but I *might* be getting a little bit of my blogging groove back. I have missed it - really and truly. Anyway...

Yesterday we had such a great time at Conner Prairie Country Fair and Mini Maker's Faire. It was a beautiful day and a wonderful event. There was something for everyone - the boys loved building an egg protector and then launching it in an egg catapult. C & T built mini whiteboards and and P made a set of coasters. We enjoyed a hayride, tractor parade, heirloom apple & tomato tasting, robot demonstrations and so much more. Perhaps our favorite part was the circus equipement we got to try out - bikes, tightrope, and trapeze are a few of the things they provided! We spent SIX hours there (a record for us) and the boys still weren't ready to go home. :) All in all a very fun and successful family day. Oh, I forgot to mention that all of the above was included in normal admission or free for members.

Here are a few pictures of the fun!

P building his coaster set!

A happy little boy...anything with food. :)

Helping C build his white board.

C & P with their egg protector - the egg survived and they were awarded a golden egg!

T getting ready to launch his egg - alas it was scrambled. :)

C & P trying out a little circus bike built for 2!

A Top 10

2011-09-14T14:33:00.005-04:00

It's probably no surprise that I can get pretty excited about kitchen products. With my love of baking and cooking goes an insane love for all things kitchen...gadgets, dishes, serving ware, cookbooks, you name it! I can get lost for hours in the kitchen section of stores. My idea for building a house is to start with a great big kitchen with lots of storage - my husband thinks maybe we should be a little more balanced in our approach but I digress...

Anyway, I'm hosting a Pampered Chef party next week and it has made me think about the products I love the most. My kitchen is stocked with many of their items and they receive regular use - some almost daily use. Since cooking and baking are a hobby, I use more products than maybe the average home cook but their kitchen basics are awesome for anyone!

So, it seems fitting to offer my top 10 most-used, favorite products:

1. Chef's Tongs (quite simply, I don't know how I ever got along without them - amazing)

2. Measure Mix & Pour (this is for salad dressing - it even includes recipes on the outside - I don't even buy salad dressing anymore)

3. Stoneware (I use the flat stones and bar pans ALL the time - things bake more evenly and they are easy to maintain)

4. Mini Serving Spatula (the best size for serving just about anything - brownies, cornbread, bars etc. - I had two, one handle broke - I will be getting another one!)

5. Silicon Basting Brush (admittedly wasn't sure if I would like this but I LOVE it - easy to clean, no bristles falling out, and even rests on the side of your bowl)

6. Rubber Scrapers (you will never buy any other rubber scrapers...the end.)

7. Bamboo Spoons (sturdy, perfect shape, really nice)

8. Twixit! Clip Combo Pack (keeps everything fresher - they are constantly in use)

9. Ice Cream Dipper (makes scooping ice cream so much easier - this might get used more often than it should... :))

10. Easy Read Measuring Cups (no more bending down to make sure you have the right amount - you can look from the top and (bonus!) they stack inside of each other for easy storage)

HONORABLE MENTION - these items are also favorites and are used constantly - should have made it a top 15!
- 12" Skillet w/lid (heavy duty cookware, great size, use it all the time - the clear glass lid is a really nice feature)
- Garlic Press (no more mincing and getting all of the garlic smell on your hands)
- Citrus Press (gets all of the juice out of your lemons and limes)
- Whisks (both the traditional and mini are great quality - the handle is nicely weighted)
- Microplane (excellent for citrus, hard cheese, nutmeg, ginger root, garlic and more!)

What are your favorite products?

School - Our Second Year

2011-09-10T20:34:00.000-04:00

We have begun our second year of homeschooling. In many ways, I still find myself surprised that we have been led down that path. It was unexpected. However, I remain convinced that it is the best choice for us at the moment and overall we are all enjoying it. We continue to take it one year at a time - we re-evaluate and decide each year what is best for each member of the family.

We've chosen a fairly rigorous classical program with lots of memorization and the boys have loved it...well, most of it. :) This year I am teaching for our group classes and it has been so fun! Patrick has taken off with his reading skills and both of the boys enjoy math. We have added several new subjects this year and I am loving the new curriculum. The homeschool convention in March proved to be just what I needed to feel inspired, to branch out from the known, and to challenge me to not underestimate my children.

This year, Titus is insistent that he be included in school. I put together a bin of school activities for him which he likes...as long as I am sitting with him. :) Since he is so motivated, I decided to be a little more structured for him, so we are working on colors, shapes, numbers, and letters. He participates in much of the boys memory program and often wants to "do it by myself." (That independence is a bit of a theme with our three year old. :)) He really likes to work puzzles, read books, play games, and color. Thankfully, he is also learning to play some by himself.

We are all enjoying our Bible program this year and it has provided many opportunities for deep discussions. I have appreciated the opportunity to also talk more about their history and personal stories and the great joy they have brought to our lives. I feel like I can never fully express to them how thankful we are that God chose them to be in our family but they love to hear it and feel that affirmation.

So, I'm happy for the fall - the structure is good for us. I delight in seeing the boys learning and growing and I am trying to treasure these moments and years. It amazes me how much they are growing. As I'm changing out the clothes for the season, I'm reminded again of how quickly the years pass. My heart overflows with love for our sons. Our children. I never get tired of the sound of those words.

I'm excited for this 1st grade year for Calvin & Patrick and pre-k for Titus. I trust we will learn together and challenge one another. Here's to a new school year - always an adventure!

Change is in the Air

2011-09-06T08:11:00.002-04:00

I guess since it's official, I can share that at the end of this month I will be home full-time. It was such a hard decision in many respects and an easy one in others. I love my boss, my job, and my co-workers - it's been a great career move and a rewarding position. While I loved it, I was also feeling very torn - the needs of my family were increasing and my commute was long. Last year the boys were in kindergarten and it worked; this year I didn't know exactly how I was going to balance their more intense schooling with everything else. My desire to excel in everything was resulting in stress and a feeling that I was succeeding fully in nothing. Most of all, it became clear this summer that there were some challenges that need addressed and worked through with the boys and it was hard to do that with our busy schedule.

So, with much consideration and prayer and agonizing, Andrew and I decided that I should resign my position and come home for this season. I'm excited and looking forward to this new adventure. I know I will miss my job but I know that I will find much fulfillment in being home. I will work once a month to keep my skills current (and continue care for some of my patients) and I will continue to complete all of my continuing education in order to maintain my license.

If you had told us at the beginning of the summer that we would make this decision, we would have doubted. :) In fact, we imagined sharing very different news but that must wait. We are thankful for the employment God has provided these many years. We are looking forward to seeing how God will continue to provide for us and guide us.

How do the boys feel about it? They will miss their sitters but they are thrilled that I will be home all the time...at least at the moment. :)

And Now He Is 3

2011-09-03T21:05:00.000-04:00

Titus turned 3 last month! He was so excited because he really "got" the birthday thing this year. I made cupcakes that were a disasterous flop and so, I changed tactics and let him decorate his own. He was thrilled, I was relieved! :) He wanted everything to be chocolate - a boy after my own heart.

It's hard to believe that we were blessed and surprised with Titus three whole years ago. We remain so thankful that C chose life and that she gave us the honor of being his parents. He has brought all kinds of new adventures and joy to our family.

Titus has grown up so much this year as is inevitable with the changing from toddler-hood to little boyhood. He has embraced this change with much gusto - insisting on keeping up with his brothers in every way. He feels positively left out if he doesn't have school work to complete and asks regularly for "my reading" and "my numbers." :) He is a tiny guy but don't let his size fool you - he can talk your ear off and play a mean game of baseball. He LOVES sports and counts down the days until he is old enough to play soccer.

________________________________________

Dear Titus,

You have grown up so much this year! You insist that you are not a baby - not even my baby - but rather that you are a big boy. Titus, you love to laugh, play jokes, and make others laugh. Sometimes your brothers get frustrated because you want to do everything with them but really, you are good friends with your brothers. :)

This past year, you conquered most of your fear of separation and went to class one morning a week. You had so much fun playing and learning and making new friends. Although you are often shy at first, you actually have a lot to say. You especially enjoyed bringing things for show-and-tell occasionally.

Titus, you have a great memory and work to memorize everything the older boys are memorizing. You also enjoy playing games almost more than anything else. Your favorite games are match games, Cootie, and Cherry-O. You really like to read books - it is so fun reading to you and your brothers.

You bring so much joy and blessing to your dad, brothers, and me! We can't imagine our family any other way! We think of your first mom and thank God for her - for her choosing life and for her choosing us to be your parents and family. We pray that you continue to grow in grace. We love you so much and we are so thankful for you!

Love forever,

Mommy

Happy 6th!

2011-08-01T22:13:00.001-04:00

I am a few days late but I would be remiss if I didn't write about Patrick's 6th birthday! He had a great time celebrating his much anticipated event. And his big gift from us - a day trip to an amusement park - has yet to be completed. He chose a baseball theme cake and had some great baseball gifts. He was so happy!

Perhaps I have seen the most growth in my sweet son, Patrick this year. It has been a year of tremendous growth and maturity. My ever-responsible son has continued to blossom into a selfless and sweet boy. How blessed I am to be his mom and I can't believe God chose me! I cherish the moments we spend in conversation, reading books, playing games, and working together. What a wonderful son.

____________________________________________

Dear Patrick,

My heart is full as you celebrate your 6th birthday. It's so hard to believe how quickly the time has passed. With each passing year, I see you grow and change and mature. I love you SO much.

This year, I have seen you continue to be a leader. You take responsibility very seriously and I appreciate that. You work hard to include others and to take care of your brothers. You are a loyal and faithful son. I still cannot believe that God chose you to be in our forever family. I am so privileged to be your mom!

Patrick, I love how you excel in school and work hard. You do well in your classes and you have learned so much about self-control and kindness this year. I'm so proud of you! You are athletic and great at team sports!

You have a lot of interests including building with legos, playing games, riding your bike (!), playing baseball and soccer, reading books, and drawing & coloring. You amazed me when you learned to ride your bike in one day this summer! You also taught yourself to whistle and you lost two teeth this year - both were very big deals.

What a beautiful heart you have, son. I love to hear you sing and pray and ask questions.

I can't help but think of your birthmom who chose life. And I'm so very thankful for her choice and so thankful that God brought you into our lives and family! I am thankful every. single. day. I love you, Patrick - always and forever. Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

*P.S. I will add pictures at some point! :)

Hair Saga

2011-07-14T23:20:00.000-04:00

All right, here it is - I'm totally vain and I color my hair because I am going prematurely gray. I can admit it and I'm fine with. Whew, good to get that out of the way. :)

The problem: my hairdresser of 12 years is away for the whole summer. I can't go a whole summer without having my hair colored and cut. So, I decided to try the beauty school - I remember being a student and practicing on people's teeth (by the way, I think that might be totally different - it doesn't show!). I went on Saturday and requested a more experienced student thinking that they couldn't mess my hair up that bad. Um, I was wrong...

The next problem: the color. I requested a natural color with blond and red highlights - my usual. We discussed the color and she began. People, I have NEVER had so many foils on my head. It was crazy and it took forever. She commented that my hair took color quickly and after her smoke break, she washed it out. I started to worry when I saw the color in the mirror but decided maybe after it was dry it would be better...

Another problem: I didn't realize the final issue for a couple of days...really until I was at home and bought a new hand mirror. The haircut. It was cute from the front and I liked the way it laid. It was awful in the back - a big chunk of hair cut halfway up. I could not fix it very well - it just wouldn't lay right. It was NOT what she told me she was going to do.

Seriously, the instructor said it all looked good...

Oh people, five days I lived with it. I tried to be okay, I said I wasn't going to fix it but I rejoiced when I saw red washing out... Then I caved, I simply could not make it behave and I do NOT like to draw attention to myself. So, I walked into a salon and asked them to fix the cut - the hairdresser did an amazing job. I'm scheduled to go back tomorrow for the color...I'm still deciding if I can live with it...

The hair is getting expensive. I am mortified that I lived with it and yet, going to the beauty school was a calculated risk. Sometimes the difference between a bad haircut and a good one is a couple of weeks but I don't think a couple of week was going to help.

I can laugh about it. Hair will grow. My mortification is completely vain and I know that. People have tried to be nice about it and a special thank you to the little girl at the Y who stopped me to tell me how much she liked my hair - that was very sweet. A no thank you to my brother who said I looked trashy and my little sister who said it was simply awful - it made me even more self-conscious. And I'm sorry to my husband for not listening to you right away about the cut. Thank you for loving me and laughing with me. Yes, I'm still laughing about it...mostly...

So...here is the striped fiasco (I did not take a picture of the cut):

Be Kind. Please. It's been a tough week. :)

Oh and it is not white in the front - it is bleach blonde. And just so you know, it actually has faded a little since this picture...oh and the picture doesn't really do it justice.

10 Years

2011-06-27T22:40:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that I graduated from college and passed my boards 10 years ago! I'm so blessed and privileged to be a part of the dental profession. I have worked for most of those years - varying amounts based on the needs of our family. :)

The past 1 1/4 years have stretched me professionally as I have helped to open a new practice and switched from paper charts and film x-rays to all paperless and digital. It has been an exciting year - supporting an amazing dentist and watching the practice grow.

My top 10 favorite things about being a dental hygienist (in no particular order):

1) Patients - They make my job such a pleasure. I love seeing them every 3-6 months and sharing in their lives and families.

2) Smiles - Cheesy, yes - but definitely true. Knowing that I can help encourage and create positive self image is a joy!

3) Educating - Whether it's in classrooms or with individuals chairside, I appreciate the opportunity to educate about oral health, homecare, and general health.

4) Flexibility - This has been the perfect career for our family - being able to work part time and as little as 1/2 day/week has been great.

5) Benefits - God has called our family to adopt and we have been so thankful for the way He has used my job to help with the cost.

6) Team - I have worked with amazing people over the years.

7) Kids - I LOVE seeing kids. I've always worked in a general practice and would not switch but I love when the kids come (most of them... :)).

8) Relationships - I touched on this with #1 but I have met some wonderful people who have become friends.

9) Health - Knowing the link between oral health and the health of the entire body makes my job all the more serious...not only educating my patients about that link but in actively treating disease.

10) Success - Working towards the success of the practice through creating trust and loyalty. I love seeing my dentist meeting the needs of our patients.

So...there you have it! I mostly love my job and feel incredibly thankful!

And I would like to say a big thank you to the patient who asked me last week how long I have been a hygniest and acted shocked when I said 10 years...she said I didn't look old enough... :) Bless her.

These Things Must Be Recorded

2011-06-19T22:44:00.000-04:00

Two things should be noted:

1) Patrick taught himself to whistle a couple of weeks ago - I am quite impressed. He LOVES it and honestly, I think having something that only he can do has been great for him!

2) The crib is officially down. Titus was happy to make the switch and would have done it sooner but I wasn't quite ready... :) I'm actually okay with it.

And incidentally, Calvin has increased his prayers for a baby for our family. :) I'm definitely not sure how I feel about that, though we are open to God's leading! He has been advocating for quite some time with the support of Patrick and with the opposition of Titus.

Surgery

2011-06-11T22:37:00.000-04:00

What a full week. And somehow nearly three weeks has passed since I posted last. For shame.

Calvin had his surgery this past Wednesday. We decided to drive up Tuesday night so he could have a good night of sleep before arriving at the hospital at 6 a.m. For the first time ever, he was the first surgery. It was quick and went well. The doctor explained that tubes were his best option and that hearing aids would be the other option. That was more direct and blunt than we had ever discussed before. We are praying and trusting that these will work and hopefully they will stay in longer than the last couple of times.

This time, Calvin was more upset coming out of surgery. They waited to bring us back until he was awake but it really scared him and it was hard to calm him - I was nearly in tears myself. He calmed down more when I climbed into the hospital bed and held him. My poor little guy. He also had more pain this time with his left ear especially - thankfully after a few doses of pain medication, it seemed to mostly resolve.

I'm always uptight about surgery but he was a champ. Here's a picture of him after the gave him some medicine to relax him before surgery - yeah, he was relaxed...and funny!

So thankful to have this behind us! We are hopeful that speech will improve and that he won't continue struggling with hearing. I know it frustrates him.

To Recap

2011-05-23T08:24:00.033-04:00

- Calvin (as we anticipated) will have tubes again. We are just waiting for the call to schedule. I anticipate that he will have the surgery before the end of June. It's outpatient though I am always a nervous momma. :)

- Andrew has struggled with health since April 29 and was finally diagnosed with mono. We are glad to know what is going on but dreading the long recovery.
- My youngest brother graduated from highschool last week - thus ending my mom's 27 years of homeschooling. We had a celebration for her, too. :)

- I had the privilege of attending the 7th Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit. God did some serious work on my heart. I'm not sure exactly what that means practically speaking but I have not doubt in God's continued call for me and for us to advocate for parentless children. I'm continually challenged by the parallel of my adoption in Christ. And the number of orphans (here and abroad) is still staggering. Such a need for orpan care, such a need for churches and people to get involved!

- Early this year, I was asked to join the Board of Directors for Two Hearts for Hope. After prayerful consideration, Andrew and I decided that I should accept. It's a privilege working with them and seeing God grow the ministry. Two Hearts is expanding into Russia which is very exciting. Please check out their website to see how you can partner with us as we minister to orphans in Kazakhstan and Russia. We have some great fundraising items like re-usable grocery bags, necklaces, shirts, and cookbooks. We are currently raising money to replace the windows in an orphanage - they are in very bad disrepair and contributing to health issues in the children. It's a big project!

- We are busily begininng work on our 2nd annual 5K! It has been renamed An Orphan's Hope 5K (formerly Walk for Kaz). This year it will be held in Tennessee! We are so excited to see how God will work as we raise funds, raise awareness, and enjoy a wonderful day. If you are interested in participating, early registration is now open! We are also looking for sponsors and people to spread the word! Check out our website.

- As if we don't have enough going on, I'm working a few extra days this summer. We are so thankful for the provision of a good job. Andrew and I are both at our new jobs for about a year now and both know we are in the right places!

- We are also planning our first big family vacation! We've done church camp, 3-4 day trips but never a week. We are all very excited to enjoy a week away this summer. We are thinking it will be a beach destination...it's been entirely too long since Andrew and I have been to the beach. We loved our year in Southern Florida and while we won't go that far, we look forward to introducing the kids to the ocean, eating delicious seafood, and relaxing.

Whew. And now you are mostly caught up. Here are a couple of pictures because really, posts are more interesting with photos. :)

The boys at the Children's Museum - seriously, getting all three to look at the camera and smile is nearly impossible. :)

Meeting Max for the first time! So sweet!

Cleft Team Appointment

2011-05-10T20:41:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow Calvin has a full team appointment in Chicago - it's a long (exhausting) day with lots of specialists. We leave super early in the morning and get back late. I think we will be told that he needs more speech therapy (which I am trying to figure out) and that he is having significant hearing issues. We've noticed a rapid decline in hearing and therefore enunciation and speech progress since March. It's tough - tough to see him struggle, tough that he realizes and is frustrated, and tough that I can't just make it better. Oh how I wish I could take it away for him. But he is a strong kiddo, a fighter.

So we will trek north, enjoy the time together, eat some fun snacks, and find out what the next steps will be on this journey. I'm thankful to be on this journey with him - cheering him on, helping him understand, loving him through, and reminding him that he is a great and handsome little boy. I can't help but be proud of him - the grace, the strength, and the determination.

God knew we belonged together and God created a way for him to be a part of our family through his clefts - what a blessing!

Spinning Tires

2011-05-04T15:37:00.002-04:00

Do you ever find yourself struggling with the same things over and over again? I wonder why I keep coming back to the same things. I wish I could just learn how to manage everything and move on! :) Seriously!

I'm already working on planning school for next year - for the whole year. I have to, I need the organization, I need the plan... It won't go perfectly as planned and I'm sure I will re-evaluate and plan throughout the year but knowing that there is an organized plan makes me so happy and relieved!

So you probably guessed that I'm still working on organization. I have had to embrace (or at least accept) that life with three active (and absolutely wonderful!) boys needs flexibility and that things are definitely NOT going to go exactly as planned at least some, okay, most of the time. It's okay, I'm getting there - on the accepting and the flexing that is. And I'm constantly seeking to train them in responsibility balanced with ~~lots~~ some fun. :)

Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding job. Many days I feel like I fail more than succeed. But the sweet smiling faces, the contrite apologies, the hugs and kisses, and the love make everything worth it. I think I've grown more as a person since becoming a mom than ever before and it's super humbling to have to apologize to my kids when I have failed. Together we learn and strive and grow. We love each other more. They tolerate my crazy (and sometimes irrational) need for organization and I love them for it!

Everyone in different directions - lots of fun, lots of crazy! :)

So I continue to work towards some of my goals, let go of others, and spend more time with my beautiful family.

Half Fail

2011-05-01T23:01:00.000-04:00

This was the weekend I was supposed to be in Tennessee running/walking my first half marathon. I was nervous and excited and looking forward to spending time with friends. However, it was not to be. For many reasons, it became clear to Andrew and me that I needed to stay home. It was a hard decision and I definitely felt disappointed by it. I still intend to complete a half marathon at some point - hopefully in the not too distant future.

But what this post is really about is the positive life changes that have come about since I signed up for that TN half. It got me back to exercising. While I made an effort to be faithful to it last summer, it didn't stick. For the past 3-4 months, I have exercised and average of 4-5 times per week - a variety of pilates, strength, toning, and cardio. And I feel better - more energy, healthier, and stronger. More than that, my kids exercise with me (at least some of the time) and I know it's a good example for them. I'm thankful for the motivation to a healthier, more consistent (and disciplined!) lifestyle.

So despite my disappointment in not being able to meet one of my bucket list goals, I'm choosing to focus on the positive changes that it has brought about in my life! Not going was the right decision - we have no doubt. I'm planning to keep it up and hopefully next time, I'll be able to actually attend and complete a half!

Congrats to my friends who met their goals this weekend - so proud of you!

Max

2011-04-29T00:40:00.000-04:00

If you know me IRL, you probably already know that I became an aunt this week. Yep, for the very first time. Sweet little Max entered the world on Monday and he is adorable! My sister is a champ - pretty sure the birth and unplanned c-section weren't quite what she had in mind. I am just thrilled to have a nephew and thrilled that our boys have a cousin. I have fantastic memories with my cousins and still enjoy spending time with them (I have 14 cousins).

On Wednesday, I took the boys up for a short visit to meet Max - we made a stop on the way so they could each pick a little gift for him and we got a couple of balloons as well. They were SO excited to meet him and were all instantly in love with him. Titus told me repeatedly after we left that, "Max tute." (cute). He (Ty) didn't stop smiling the whole time. All three of them clamored to hold him and gave him sweet kisses when we left. Melted my heart. Max has been the topic of many conversations this week and the most viewed photos on my phone.

Welcome to the family, Max! We love you!

(More pictures to come...blogger is SO SLOW tonight!!!)

Calvin's Birthday

2011-04-25T22:08:00.000-04:00

I am remiss in posting about Calvin's 6th (!) birthday! Last Thursday marked the day. It was with MUCH excitement that he anticipated his big day. He decided to go to Conner Prairie and we invited a few friends to come along. It was the most beautiful day we've head in the past 10 days or so - sunny and 60. First we had presents and donuts as well as a short visit with Andrew's cousin and soon-to-be married in cousin, then our trip to Conner Prairie and finally, a movie night with hamburgers and fries, cupcakes (his choice!), and vanilla/chocolate swirl ice cream. Here are a pictures of his fabulous day:

Such good friends. Patrick was thrilled with the legos he picked for Calvin's birthday gift!

He is so sweet about all of his presents!

Enjoying a "horse" ride with one of his friends.

He still loves to take on various characters.

Holding the goat was probably a highlight - for him, not the goat. :)

Wood working - it took a lot of concentration.

My favorite boys in the whole world!

So fun having friends meet us there!

Gorgeous day and great company!

A little stoic - getting ready to blow out the 6 candles!

Dear Calvin,

What a joy and delight you are to our family! I'm amazed that the little boy that I met 4 1/2 years ago is now a big six year old!

This year you have really shown an interest in art. You are rarely without a paper and pen. You are learning to read and doing very well in school. Sometimes I think I'm not challenging you enough! You continue to work on clear speech and I'm so proud of your dedication to it. You are still a trooper when it comes to your cleft appointments and handle it all with grace.

Calvin, you ask deep questions and constantly want to learn. You tell me how much you love God and it makes my heart rejoice. You talk about how you came to be a part of our family frankly and openly and I love that you are comfortable enough to discuss adoption and your "tummy" mom. I hope you always feel that freedom.

Your favorite thing to tell me is that you love me more. And when I assure you that you couldn't possibly love me more than I love you, you respond with a litany of how much you love me. I can't help but smile and hug you close. You are also very complimentary and tell me when you like what I'm wearing or how I look. You are a sweet son. A good big brother. And an awesome person.

I'm incredibly thankful to God for bringing us together. You were born in a country far, far away and I wanted to be a Mommy so much. I still can't fathom how I was blessed enough to become your Mom. I want you to know that I loved you before I met you, before I even knew about you, you were in my heart. God knew that we needed each other.

I love you always and forever, no matter what, Calvin.

Love,
Mommy

Long Time, No Write :)

2011-04-06T22:28:00.000-04:00

How can it be another month already?! I feel so behind!

School has been going well overall. It's been exciting to see the changes in the boys - I've especially noticed a lot of maturing in Patrick. I'm so thankful that we decided to homeschool this year. We finish our classes this week and I know the boys will be sad.

I had a chance to attend the Cincinnati Homeschool convention last weekend (thanks, Andrew!). It was incredibly encouraging and refreshing. Last year, I went to our local convention and just didn't get much out of the sessions but here, it was like drinking from a fire hydrant. As we look towards next year (yes, we are signing on for another year), I know there are things I will change and I also have some exciting new resources. Going to the exhibit hall is equally overwhelming and exciting and inspiring. Anyway, it was a wonderful weekend with some great friends - friends from our homeschool group and my friend, Ann, who was my roomie. She and I had a chance to meet up with three other Kaz moms and it was a wonderful time - I'm SO glad we went down early enough to see them all!

Balancing work, home, and school has been tough at times. Andrew is so supportive and I love that he gets to do school with the kids one morning a week! I think I'm still working on how to make everything work effectively but it's gotten better.

Spring soccer kicked off today and we had two VERY excited little boys! This month also marks the month that I will be come an aunt for the first time - I can't wait to meet my nephew! And the boys will have a cousin which they are quite thrilled about; though the whole process has brought up a number of questions since obviously babies come to families in different ways - and it's definitely a different process for our family. :)

Well, just thought I should at least write something. It's been a full first part of the year and we are looking forward to the warm weather. If any of you still stop by my little corner of the web - thank you! I have a feeling I'll be back more frequently soon - I miss blogging so much!

Nine

2011-03-14T23:49:00.000-04:00

Andrew and I celebrated nine years last week.
Nine years since we said, "I do" and pledged our lives and love.
My man is amazing.
He is so loving and kind and considerate and supportive.
Far more than I deserve.
I am blessed.
And he is the greatest dad ever to our sweet sons.

Challenged

2011-03-03T08:45:00.003-05:00

A couple of days ago, one of our sons shared with me his plan "when he grows up" to bring home 10 children "from where the earthquake was." A little over a year later and he still remembers and talks about the children and people of Haiti. His heart is big. He told me he wants to be their family (and he has told us who the mom [ie who he will marry] will be, but I'll not share that right now :)). I'm blown away by his desire and "simple" plan to bring home 10 kids. He feels there is a need and he wants to meet it. He longs to give children a family "who don't have one." He talks to us about it fairly regularly and has for about two years.

How can we not consider adding more children to our family? He is such an example to us and challenges our thinking (and he lobbies hard for more sisters & brothers :)). And while I know his ideas and plans will likely change, I also know that we appreciate his love, concern, thoughtfulness and care for others. He knows, in a way Andrew and I never can, what it's like to not have the love and nurture of a family. So, we are challenged. We are blessed. And we are open.

A Milestone

2011-03-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

I am quite sick today and have been trying to get some rest in between schooling etc. And so I asked my older boys if they thought they could make themselves some lunch. Titus was already asleep beside me - really none of us are feeling very well. They asked what they could have and I suggested PB & J which they readily agreed that they could make. I stayed upstairs in bed and let them go downstairs. I could hear them making their lunch and talking to each other - sweet in and of itself. And then maybe 10 minutes later, Patrick came to my room with a peanut butter sandwich and a tall glass of milk. I nearly cried. It was one of the sweetest, most thoughtful things. And he returned with another sandwich and glass of milk for Titus after he awakened.

Patrick has such a servant's heart. He is great at seeing the needs of others and lately, we've seen him growing by leaps and bounds in his attitude and kindness. I thanked him and then I thanked him again. It meant so much to this tired, sick (and yet, hungry) Mom. So not only did the boys successfully make lunch, Patrick went above and beyond and blessed me.

Oh how I love my boys. What sweet sons.

Hungry Boys

2011-03-01T21:06:00.000-05:00

Seriously y'all (yes, I just said that :)), the boys are eating us out of house and home. How is this possible? They are all 5 and under. And yet, some days they eat way more than us. I can't complain though - they are, for the most part, adventerous eaters. We present every meal as delicious and we try to never form an opinion for them (ie "You won't like that."). They are increasingly enjoying things that I never would have imagined them liking and I'm very thankful. However, I absolutely cannot imagine what the teenager years will be like...forget college funds, we need food funds! :) Meanwhile, I am working hard to keep them full.

I know, I know, I drop in just for a minute to tell you that. :) But it's what's happening around here. In non-interesting happenings: we are all fighting very nasty head colds.

How Do You Know?

2011-02-20T15:30:00.001-05:00

Adopting again is always a topic for us in our home. It's something we discuss, consider, pray about and agonize over. We wonder if God has completed our family (we are okay with that if He has!) and we often wonder if He has another little person or two to add. So many factors, so many decisions.

Our hearts are overwhelmed with love for the three entrusted to us and we feel blessed. We are okay with having all one gender (and don't know if we would specify a gender if/when we do adopt again). And we know that each of our sons is an amazing gift - one we could never have imagined!

But I guess there is a part of us that feels that our family isn't quite complete. We still have the desire to adopt, to support others in adoption, and to advocate for children here and abroad. We have pondered beginning the process again or at least updating our homestudy and profile at our agency and seeing what God has in store. The Truth is: I'm terrified to do that - it could take a long time (most likely) or it could go way more quickly than we anticipate. :) Regardless, we know that if God has another little one for our family, we will be ready and willing.

We are considering how He might provide for another adoption - honestly, we are still recovering from the last three (well, especially the very quick last one!) and while we have the heart and desire to adopt again, we simply don't have the resources right now. And so we continue to talk, pray, and seek. Is there another one? When is the right time? Domestic or Foster or International? How will we possibly fund another adoption? How will we know when we are done?

So many questions. The answer thus far has been to wait. And so we are - patiently most days, somewhat impatiently on others - saving a little here and there, as we are able, towards adopting again. Through it all, we trust that it will be the right time, the right place, the right (no, perfect!) child(ren) for us.

In the mean time, we are enjoying our family of five!

Thanks to Kevin Swan for taking this photo!

Ice, Ice, Baby

2011-02-01T21:37:00.002-05:00

We are experiencing quite the storm here. It started late afternoon on Monday and made for a brutal commute home for me - the roads weren't that bad but traffic was dreadful! Andrew and I were both home from work today - Andrew worked from home and I schooled the kids after catching up on some sleep (I had a sleepless night on Monday night). I would prefer this storm to be snow but so far, it has been ice. The wind is gusting and expected to get worse before better. We are hoping and praying that the power stays on - we have friends that have not been so fortunate thus far. We are as prepared as we can be. The kids are a little stir crazy - hopefully we can reign that in with some organized activities tomorrow. :)

It seems I feel especially domestic when we are snowed in and I always make soup. Today is was beef vegetable and then I made homemade noodles for chicken and noodles tonight. I baked cookies and muffins last night and then made another batch of muffins tonight. It was fun experimenting with a new recipe - I made them entirely healthy - oatmeal, whole wheat flour, a little white flour & honey. The first batch had craisins and the second batch blueberries. I like the blueberry ones best but both were pretty good.

Even now, I hear the freezing rain and sleet starting in earnest again. I've checked in with various members of my family and everyone is doing okay. My sister way up north is getting a blizzard while the rest of us locally have the ice storm of 2011.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Welcome, February.

On another note, training for the half has begun. I was able to get out and walk (jogged a little) about 1.5 miles yesterday before the storm hit. So far, the rest of this week will have to be indoor training. :)

A Big Goal

2011-01-30T14:46:00.000-05:00

Well, I've done it. For about 15 years, I've considered signing up for a 1/2 Marathon. You know, it's one of those bucket list things. And this is the year. I need the motivation to be more active and I need to have a goal. I think it will be hard. I plan to run/walk. I have three months to get ready.

The Power of Pez

2011-01-27T08:00:00.015-05:00

Yes, you read that correctly and perhaps more precisely...the power of Buzz Pez. It started yesterday. You see, I have an almost 2 1/2 year old that is VERY motivated by sweets. And he has decided that since he gets candy rewards for potty success, he will go potty every 2-5 minutes. I'm not kidding. I really, really wish I were. I haven't even really pushed the potty training thing - my other two were 3 and 3 1/2. While I think it would be fantastic to be diaper free, I'm not one to do it too early - been there, done that, tears all around. :)

So, I seem to be the one who is kicking and screaming at the potty training timing while he announces every 2-5 minutes, "Poop" or "Potty." And here's the thing, he goes 70-80% of the time. A small stream but a stream nonetheless. He will not be convinced to go anymore, he hops down, receives his reward and after savoring every bit of it (about 2- 5 minutes), once again is ready to go again. My day is consumed. My thoughts, my actions, my every thing interrupted all for a little taste of the candy that comes from a Buzz Pez dispenser. Perhaps I should switch to taffy rewards so that I might get a full 10 minutes between trips to the porcelain throne.

I applaud his motivation, his self-starter attitude, and his commitment. But I have to wonder, when the Pez is gone, will the resolve and success remain? I'll let you know, folks, I have my doubts. But for now, we are going strong.

Today's Note: He has stayed dry and I have given some other rewards, so perhaps I'm wrong...maybe this will be the real thing. We are giving it everything we've got - I can't squelch the enthusiasm. :)

A Word

2011-01-26T09:35:00.002-05:00

I'm a little late jumping in with this but I've been pondering this year and while I've spoken a little about what some of our goals are, I've continued to think about it. 2010 was a difficult year and so the start of 2011 was quite welcome. Anyway, many people have posted about what their word for the year will be and I loved the idea. I considered many words and ideas but something kept coming to the forefront of my mind and heart. So, after MUCH thinking, I decided that I want my word of 2011 to be relationships.

I desire this year to be identified by building and strengthening relationships - it's harder to be lonely when that is the goal. :) I'm challenged that I haven't done enough in the areas of hospitality, friendship, etc. Let me just say that the last month or so of really wanting to start the year this way has been wonderful. My cup is overflowing with the amazing friends and family that God has brought into my life. I love that it is full of old friends and new friends.

And part of working on this is also to work on being a better wife to Andrew and mom to my kids - to really work on seeing them each individually and ministering to their needs. It is such a joy to spend time with each of them and to see their strengths and gifts.

It's easy for me to get bogged down by the things that need done, by my own feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, and by various other excuses. The truth is - I sometimes miss out on some of the really important things. And seriously, the to-do list will still be there and I need to work on my issues. :) It's important for me to really focus on people, to quit making excuses.

So, it's time for me to grab that cup of coffee with a friend, make that special dinner for my husband, invite that family over, take that child out for special time... I'm excited about this year, this goal. I really want to deepen friendships. So thankful for the blessing of friends and family - near and far!

Hearing Them

2011-01-17T11:22:00.003-05:00

I hear them talking, laughing, expressing, and roaming. I see them freely enjoying and living life. I watch them discovering, learning, and growing. I smile at the lives that shine - the personalities, the gifts, the aspirations and dreams. I appreciate the faith, the hope, the love, the joy, the life they have brought into our home and lives.

And I can't help but wonder about the other children in their groups - the ones who called out to us - desparate for attention; the ones who watched us from afar - scared; the ones who understood - Amirkhan & Murat had a mama & papa now; the ones who ran to us - wishing for their own visitors. I think often of the babies and todders in Uralsk Baby House #1 & #2. I remember many of their faces, I remember the smells and sounds, and I remember the understimulation and the crying.

My heart bursts and aches all at the same time. How happy to see my boys thriving, how sad to know how many children are not.

Many of those children - the children who shared a home and toys and food with my boys, for the first year of their lives - are still a part of the over 140 million orphans worldwide - 140 MILLION.

A Hard Decision

2011-01-12T15:18:00.001-05:00

I've been contemplating the blog and struggling to prioritize, re-organize, and balance life. Needless to say, I've decided to quit blogging here for awhile. I'm still over at The Cooks Next Door and I think/hope I will be back here eventually. But for now, I need to let go of the pressure - could be for a month or a year...I'm not really sure. I have seriously missed the more frequent posts, the blog "conversations," the keeping in touch, and the inspiration but I can't seem to muster any of if these days and that's okay. There are seasons of life. And I've also taken on some new responsibilities that I am excited about but will take time.

Anyway, I can still be reached via e-mail and facebook. :)

Happy New Year & A Brief Book Review

2011-01-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here on the couch drinking ginger ale and eating soda crackers. Not really the way I envisioned 2011 beginning. Not only did I come down with the flu during my favorite gathering of the year (my family's Christmas) but I completely missed out on ringing in the new year. This perhaps summarizes 2010 - a year where many things did not go quite as planned. :) Isn't that so often life?

There were many highs and many lows of this past year. The highs included my mission trip (and the tremendous love poured out that made it possible!), Walk for Kaz (which surpassed our expectation!), deepening friendships (God has taught me much about friendship this year), and more time with my little family. The lows included smoke damage (and the weeks of hotel living that followed), illness, and the passing of Andrew's grandfather - to mention a few. Andrew and I both began new jobs which have overall been better than we could have imagined. I'm so thankful. The tenor of our home has been a blessing for the last half of this year - much less stress and much more time to enjoy each other and grow as a family. The new jobs were welcome but difficult transitions.

I closed out this year with reading the book, Choosing to SEE, by Mary Beth Chapman - I read it all in one day which hasn't happened for many years! It was an appropriate year-end read and an excellent book. I've ordered a copy to include in my personal library. I am certain I will pick it up several more times. It challenged me, made me laugh, and brought me to tears. There has been a stirring in my soul for the past year and it spoke to me in a profound and convicting way - as a parent, as a Christian, as an adoption advocate, and as a woman. Definitely makes my top books of the past few years and I highly recommend it.

As the sun is streaming into the room, I can't help but feel anticipation of what 2011 will hold. We have briefly talked about some of our goals (especially financial) and I am ready to begin meeting them!

Our family desires to make a difference and show compassion to others - here and around the world. We have some practical ideas to grow and develop in these areas. And our boys have big hearts that have challenged me even more!

I pray that we will live with joy, love with sincerity, grow in grace, and be committed to change!

Here's to a new year (yes, I'm raising my ginger ale :))!

Christmas Blessings

2010-12-27T14:31:00.001-05:00

What a great Christmas! I suppose I say that nearly every year but it was an especially good one. Our boys had a wonderful time opening gifts but were in no hurry as they enjoyed each gift as they opened it. They were each so excited to give the gifts they had selected for their brothers which was incredibly sweet! I saw a mature and giving spirit in the older two that blessed me - they truly enjoyed the giving almost as much as the receiving. It was a beautiful day and I so enjoyed just being with my family. There was no rush and no commitments just a day to spend together - talking, laughing, eating and playing.

I was suprised by the depth of emotion I felt and perhaps I often feel at the holidays. Not just the feeling of being blessed but the feeling of having already received the greatest gifts ever in the form of three little boys. Boys who do not share our DNA and who would not have "naturally" crossed our paths and yet are so definitely ours in every way...our own children...our blessings. It is not only overwhelming to see God's hand and work in our family but it is also overwhelming to know how many children don't have families. And that is something constantly on my heart. Rarely does a day go by that I do not feel burdened for them. So, intermixed with my amazing and awesome day, I couldn't help but feel sad for those children and wonder what more I can do, what more our family can do.

Anyway, it was truly a great day. The depth of love I feel for my husband and sons is unrivaled...they are incredible.

All right, enough sap. :) Pictures will be posted when I get them off the camera...in other words...soon. :)

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T08:07:00.002-05:00

The plan for tonight as told to us by our boys is this, "We will tiptoe quietly down the stairs (Titus, we will help you get out of your crib). We will hide under the table and watch for Santa to come and eat the cookies and then go back up the chimney. Mom & Dad, would you like to hide with us?"

It has to be one of the sweetest invitations ever. The irony of it all is that we have never really "done Santa" and have always told them he is pretend. :) Nevertheless, they believe and we have decided to let them. So, we will put out the cookies, milk, and carrots, and we will write a little note from Santa to leave out for them. Who knows, you may even find us crouching underneath the table come midnight tonight. :) Oh to be young again.

Hard to believe we actually got not one but two pictures with all three smiling. :) And even Pippi got in on the action - she loves being held!

From our family to yours, We wish you a very blessed and Merry Christmas! You have blessed us in so many ways as we have gone through transition and challenge and joy this year!

A Christmas Eve Tradition

2010-12-23T08:20:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Hard to believe this year is so quickly coming to an end! The boys are beyond thrilled that Christmas is almost here. Each time Santa appears in a book, picture, commercial, movie etc.,Titus has been exclaiming with great excitement, "Ho, ho!!!"

We open our first gift on Christmas Eve - it's always a new pair of pajamas. It heightens the excitement for the other things stowed under the tree, ensures an excellent night's sleep (seriously, who doesn't love new jammies?), and makes for cute pictures. It's a tradition we started when the boys first came home and I love it. We cuddle up in our pajamas, read a few stories, and drink egg nog or hot chocolate by the Christmas tree. It's cozy and sweet. I love these years of innocence and magic and wonder.

Anyway, the gifts are almost all wrapped and the house is (mostly :)) clean. Tomorrow night, after our fun traditions, we will stuff the stockings, finish putting the gifts out and then sleep as long as three very excited little boys will let us. I'm betting we will be up by 6:15 on Christmas Morning. :)

A Boy & His Dog

2010-12-22T08:15:00.002-05:00

These two share a special bond. A mutual admiration. Calvin is an animal lover in general and Pippi is always glad for the extra attention he gives her. He calmly and soothingly talks to her, scratches her neck, pets her, and holds her. It's sweet to see.

Does It Get Any Cuter?

2010-12-21T08:57:00.000-05:00

I don't think so. He brings us the camera and says, "Cheese, Cheese," which means, "Please take my picture." :) He is talking up a storm lately which is adorable..I love it! Hard to believe our youngest is 28 months!

Open House!

2010-12-20T08:45:00.000-05:00

We enjoyed having our open house last Saturday! It is always a joy to welcome people in to our home. I think we had about 60 or so family and friends stop by during the evening. Here are some pictures of the table and food - I was too busy visiting and re-stocking the food to take pictures of anything else.

Various Things

2010-12-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

I have so much to blog about and yet am running out of hours in the day! So here are some quick updates:

- I've had the pleasure of taking each of my boys on a "date" night for their Christmas shopping and a meal out. Delightful. I love spending time with them individually and watching their thought process as they carefully selected gifts for their brothers.

- We had a wonderful open house and enjoyed welcoming family and friends into our home. It was a surprisingly stress-free day and we even got a few home projects done (like touching up paint on the walls :)).

- I went back into the cookie business for the holidays and so have made and shipped several dozen. I decided to do it because someone asked me if I would and I couldn't resist. :) I love to bake cookies! Simply Sweets is the name I settled on and $1/dozen is donated to one of my very favorite charities - Two Hearts for Hope.

- Christmas shopping is nearly done. Gifts is one of my main love languages - I love giving them and I enjoy receiving them, too. :) I like to think about the individuals I'm shopping for and so I carefully plan (starting in September or October) and then shop. Andrew was pretty much the hardest but I think he will like what I got him. :) It's actually been one of the hardest years - not sure why. I'm happy to be almost done so I can get things wrapped - I do not enjoy last minute shopping and preparation. I'm a planner. :)

- Calvin had an appointment for his ears this week in Chicago. We just love the staff at the Shriner's Hospital. The audiologist and ENT were the only ones we were scheduled to see this week but we said 'hi' to lots of others, too. :) We took them a cookie tray to say thanks for all they do - they have blessed our family tremendously and I know they bless many others also! Anyway, Calvin has fluid on his right ear again and has a hole in his left eardrum which actually prevents the fluid build-up and is okay. Thankfully, he passed his hearing test and is doing pretty well in that arena. So, we are waiting. We will go back in May for a full team evaluation.

- Tomorrow is my work Christmas party which will be fun! We are going to a local tea house.

- This weekend we are hoping to get some things done around the house and finish Christmas preparations. We thought about heading to a local creamery for their Christmas on the Farm but I think we will probably pass this year. We've had colds and it's been a very long and busy week.

We are all looking forward to Christmas! The boys can hardly contain their excitement and honestly, I just love giving gifts, so I'm pretty excited, too! :)

Totally Gross

2010-12-08T10:50:00.000-05:00

My son, P, is seriously concerned about whomever lives in the sewers. How did this come up you ask? Well, he is feeling a little puny today and so I told him that if he needed to vomit, he could use the bowl or the toilet. He exclained that it was quite disgusting to use the toilet - to which I shared the information that we dump the bowl there. He was rather shocked and explained that he is thinks those who live down there will think the yucky water is gross. I agree. But then again, let's hope it's just sewer rats and the like. :)

Dreaming

2010-12-02T15:06:00.000-05:00

Calvin woke up this morning and told me about a dream last night. It was precious and I simply must record it.

"Mom, I dreamed that someone took Pippi (our dog). And I called 911 and the police came. I got Pippi back and the policeman gave me the handcuffs so I could put them on the bad man. And Pippi came back.

Are you so proud of me, Mom, for saving the day?"

He then spent some quality time with Pippi - petting her and loving on her. I think it was a little too real for him - he loves our dog.

This is the first time that he has told us a dream in such detail. It was so sweet.

Leftovers

2010-11-30T21:17:00.001-05:00

I have another confession...perhaps I should re-title my blog: True Confessions of a 30-Something. :)

Here it is: I just don't really like leftovers. They rarely sound good (except maybe soup) and sometimes they downright gross me out. Lest you think all my leftovers go to waste (they do not), I try to make the amount we will eat with maybe one extra serving and I do give leftovers to the kids sometimes (they don't seem to mind). And thankfully, my husband does like leftovers and so he takes them for lunch. Here's the thing, I don't mind at all eating leftovers at my mom's house or at a friend's house - it's just mine. :) Perhaps it has something to do with this strange phenomenon that seems to run in my family - food is sometimes less tasty after you've prepared it...the family will love it and I have no appetite :)

And while we are on this topic, I totally admire people that do freezer cooking. I've tried and it doesn't work well for us. I think it feels kind of like leftovers to me. Maybe part of it is that I generally like to cook and so freezer cooking for me has become chicken breasts, browned ground beef, chunked ham, and vegetables in the freezer to be used in various soups, pastas, and more - instead of already made dishes. My pantry is stocked with canned beans, chicken stock, and canned tomatoes and sauce. It works most of the time and there's always breakfast food for the nights it doesn't work. :)

Anyway, I think it's awesome that my husband loves leftovers and I think it's great that everyone has their own kitchen style. As for me, I'll pass on the leftovers from last night's dinner.

Thankful!

2010-11-24T11:19:00.002-05:00

This is a week typically marked by expressing thankfulness for our many blessings. It's a good week, a remembering week, and a thankful week. But this week has been a tough one for me - I am rarely pain free (due to a car accident and other issues several years ago) and struggle with back and neck issues which cause regular headaches and other pain for me. It's been a particularly rough one with sleepless nights, unmanaged pain, and constant headaches. I struggled through work and came home exhausted. It's just something I deal with - it's not something I focus on or choose to talk about but it is my reality. Thankfully most weeks are not like this week. :)

My point of this post (yes, there really is one and it's definitely not "poor me" :)), is to express so much gratitude for my chiropractor. He has been instrumental in helping me to manage discomfort and pain. He will see me at the last minute, is always cheerful, knows my family (and I mean my siblings, parents, kids and all!) listens to my concerns, tells me what's going on, and helps relieve the stress and pressure on my back and neck that is exacerbated with caring for kids and home, working, and just living life. He also gives me techniques to help at home. And he always says, "Just give me a call when you need to come back!" Without him, I have no doubt I would be living with a tremendous amount of constant pain and likely having to take regular pain medication, so a week like this might be my daily life. I'm SO thankful to lead a normal, active life with only a few limitations. He has been such a blessing to me!

I'm incredibly grateful to be feeling some better today after seeing him yesterday. There is too much to do to be flat on my back. :) So if I were giving a toast today, it would be for Dr. F...and my husband would concur - we are thankful.

'Tis the Week of Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T10:54:00.000-05:00

My Thanksgiving menu is mostly set. After work this afternoon, I hope to finish the shopping (not to mention we are out of bread and milk - the staples). I wish my house would magically clean and maintain itself but seeing as how that isn't happening, I have some work to do. :) Thankfully, the boys will spend tomorrow at my mom's - lessening the opportunity for it to be made into a disaster...er...creative zone again. I'm working on my placecards and planning out the centerpiece and seating. We will use the china and a tablecloth and I will pretend it doesn't bother me when the boys use the tablecloth as a napkin. I'm creating a blessing jar for everyone to write down blessings from this year - for us to read and then save for next year. I think it will be a good reminder.

Black Friday will find my sister and me heading out for one or two stores to score some deals. I hope to find a great deal on an electric griddle - an unfortunate mishap has rendered mine unuseable and I miss it - A LOT. And between you and me, the boys are getting a wii for Christmas (I've been saving up my Swagbucks!) and so I'll be looking for some accessories to go along with that. We are also considering looking for a new washer and dryer. It's time and perhaps there will be a good deal.

It will be a different year. We have half the number of events in a three-day period that we normally do and while I welcome the calm, it is also comes with some sadness. I will miss seeing my amazing extended family and miss seeing all of siblings and their spouses all together - though I think most will make Sunday dinner at my parent's house.

We are looking forward to decorating our home and tree on Saturday - the boys can hardly wait. We've NEVER done it so early. But with a bridal shower on the 4th and our open house on the 11th, it will be wonderful to have it done. And you are all invited to our open house on the 11th - feel free to stop in between 4 and 7 p.m. for food and holiday cheer. We so enjoy visiting with our family friends and sharing the holiday season. I'm looking forward to all the baking in preparation!

Happy Thanksgiving week!

Vanity

2010-11-18T14:58:00.000-05:00

I've already admitted to coloring and highlighting my hair on a regular basis - something I was certain I would never do when I was younger. (That was before the gray hair. :)) And I look forward to those hair appointments every 10 weeks or so.

I've recently decided to be done plucking my eyebrows - I HATE doing it. It hurts and it's hard to get the right shape and not miss any of the strays. I never did it often enough. My solution is having them threaded. It's inexpensive (though still painful), it's done in about 5 minutes, and I love the results! The bonus for me is that they have a little shop in the grocery store so I periodically get it done after I shop.

That's my true confession today - I pay someone else to take care of my eyebrows.

Crafting

2010-11-17T00:52:00.000-05:00

I don't consider myself a crafty person at all. Sure, I love to cook and bake and experiment in the kitchen but it pretty much ends there. But one thing I really enjoy is making invitations, placecards and other related paper items. Cutting paper and making something beautiful is so fun for me!

Tonight, I put together invitations for a bridal shower I'm hosting in a few weeks. I rummaged through my scrapbook goodies (which are rarely put to use these days :)) and found some excellent embellishments - I already had cardstock in a lovely color. I'm so happy with how the invitations came together. My mom helped and it took less time than I thought it might. It was just the creative outlet I needed this week! (On a side note: I wanted to take a picture and post it but there is a little too much identifying info. :))

I'm excited to make some paper crafts for Thanksgiving next week. Although it may necessitate a quick trip to the craft store for some fall colored cardstock - I used all that I had for the labels and cards I made for my office open house a few weeks ago.

Music used to be my main creative outlet but we don't currently have a piano (which is sad...someday we will!). And I've turned to cooking and baking but I'm starting to think that I should do more with paper. Do you have a favorite creative or crafy hobby?

My Goodness

2010-11-15T08:08:00.003-05:00

I completely miss blogging! Thanks to Kim, I figured out the picture issue. I was looking back a couple of years ago and enjoyed how busy the blog once was. Ah well, seasons of life. Perhaps I'll get back in the habit soon!

Our first semester of homeschool classes are nearly complete. It's been a good semester overall and somewhere along the way, I think we've decided to homeschool for another year. There are certainly frustrating days and days that I think I can't possibly do this but I'm so thankful for the time with my kids. I know I'll miss these years someday! Homeschooling is most definitely not for everyone and I have no idea how long we will do it but I'm focusing on enjoying it.

My favorite parts of school has been our country studies (which we have not done nearly enough!), our history, and reading. The last one surprises me the most - I told a friend recently that I realized that I was so worried about teaching my kids to read that I completely overbought materials. I think my recent tally was 4 different types of programs/approaches. :) I didn't even realize. Thankfully, it has not been quite as daunting as I thought it might be. The boys love the program that I settled on and are making great progress!

I'm so impressed with all the materials and resources available for homeschool. And I think that in some ways, homeschooling has brought out some creativity that I didn't realize I had in me. :) It's usually just simple projects and new ways to present material but still...

We are looking forward to our winter break. We will keep up with reading and math and some review but it will be a welcome break from our more intense study and memorization. I'm planning lots of field trips and holiday activities!

Way Overdue

2010-11-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos of the kids from a couple of weeks ago. I'm not biased at all :) but I think they are pretty cute! We had such a great time at the zoo - seeing the animals, trick-or-treating, and hanging out with friends!

Celebrating 2 Years!

2010-11-10T18:40:00.004-05:00

This past Saturday marked Titus' second Adoption Day! We took our sweet little 2 3/4 month old baby to court and after a few questions, our motion was granted. A VERY happy day and for all of you adoptive friends - always a big relief. :)

Our Court Day - November 6, 2008

It still amazes me that in 5 months we wents from considering beginning the process for #3 to finalizing the adoption of our wonderful baby boy. It seemed like a seamless process on the surface - though much of it was far from it - a very emotional journey.

Our first picture as a family of five!

We remain indebted to Titus' beautiful birthmom. I had an unexpected chance to speak with her recently for the first time since Ty's birth and it was a wonderful conversation that I will carry forever in my heart - needless to day, I ended up in tears. She and I will always be his two moms - we share a unique bond, an unusual bond, a bond that transcends background, culture, and expectation.

I like this poignant poem which expresses many of my thoughts.

THE LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.

Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.

One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.

One sought for you a home that she could not provide.

The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me, through your tears,

the age-old question unanswered through the years.

Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?

Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of Love.

Just a few weeks ago - a very sweet, happy, active 2 - year old! A wonderful son - such a blessing!

No Pictures

2010-11-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

I have tried to post pictures this week (from the weekend) and blogger has been quite uncooperative! I'll try again but don't have time right now. :)

We had a great fall break in South Bend. And we are going to visit friends in TN soon - I can't wait!

Work is going well and I feel like I'm getting into more of a groove at work and with the boys' school.

Big changes have been happening over at The Cooks Next Door - my sister, Stephanie, is a new contributor. I'm thrilled to have her!

Other than that, we are looking towards the holidays! I think we will have our open house and I'm looking forward to it!

Just for a Minute

2010-10-26T22:50:00.001-04:00

Okay, I'm going to whine and complain for just a minute. We considered getting a swing set for the boys for a couple of years and this year, we decided it was time and so we carefully chose a playset to build in the backyard. We put it up in June and the boys have loved it.

Today, the horrible wind picked up the playset (anything short of cement would not have kept it down), carried it 15 feet and and turned it upside down - it is in awful shape. Our homeowners insurance has a deductible that would be about the amount to replace it, so I think we will try to salvage it. But I'm disappointed and sad. It was something we budgeted for and wanted to do for the kids and seeing it in pieces in the backyard is so upsetting to me tonight.

All right, I'm done with the pity party - there are so many worse things to have happen and I have friends going through really tough things and I recognize this is rather trivial. I have a handy husband and I think he will be able to fix it but it will take time. We are all okay and the house is okay - I'm so thankful for that!

Other Things

2010-10-22T14:54:00.000-04:00

I've been really wanting to write a substantive post of late. And yet I keep coming back to a couple of topics that I'm not ready to write about just yet. So...I won't write about them. :) Instead, here is a mish-mash of other things.

We are currently working on re-doing the boys' rooms. Painting, rearranging furniture, cleaning, donating, and working with them on taking personal responsibility for making their beds and putting their clothes in the laundry. We've taken a minimalist approach on their rooms so it's easier to maintain...for all of us.

Titus has really taken off on the language front. I talked to his pediatrician because I was thinking of having him evaluated but she is not concerned at all. He has more words than we can keep track of, he is trying to say everything, and he has several two word phrases. It's so exciting to hear him talk! He's often hard to understand and shy about talking around others but he's getting there!

The boys all had great check-ups last week. Calvin's chart is one of our doctor's favorites - she has shared that with me a couple of times. She told me that she always shows new nurses his growth chart and tells them that it show what love and family can do. He went from nowhere near the growth chart to a solid 20%+. It's been a delight for us to see, too! Patrick remains the highest on the chart of our three. Although the boys are a little closer in height than they have been in past years.

We are enjoying school for the most part. I'm amazed at how much Titus is picking up - he brought me our reading program to do with him and is already wanting to identify letters and sounds. Patrick LOVES reading and always wants to be first to work on his pages. Calvin would spend the whole day drawing if I would let him. He is very artistic and imaginative. Overall, they like what we are working on.

Calvin lost his first tooth. I wasn't home which made me a little sad. He was happy that the tooth fairy brought him a small lego set (after the first it's $1/tooth :)). Hard to believe we are headed into the years of losing teeth.

We are debating whether we will have our Christmas Open House this year. Last year I hosted a ladies' brunch instead of our open house and this year I just can't decide. I do love making the food and decorating the house... I think I would probably be disappointed to not host something! :)

Fall Pictures

2010-10-21T14:21:00.000-04:00

The boys were due for some new photos so we headed to my parents' backyard to take some. I wanted them in time to frame for Andrew's birthday - he needed some photos for his office! Photo taking can be a little frustrating - we are at that cheesy smile stage with a couple of them. However, I think we got some good ones, too. And some silly ones which are fun. I bribed them with the promise of candy when we were done. We still need to do a family picture between now and Christmas...one of these days! :)

Happy Birthday to My Love!

2010-10-20T08:24:00.001-04:00

On this day, many...er..a lot...er...merely a few years ago, my husband was born. What a sweet, amazing guy he is! He is a wonderful provider, a beyond awesome dad, a supportive husband, and an all round nice person. During this challenging year, he has been my rock, my encourager, and my best friend. He's all those things other times, too - I have just really come to appreciate it in new ways this year.

It's been such a joy to see him transition into his new job and realize what a great fit it is for him and for our family. I am just so grateful to be married to Andrew!

Happy Birthday, Honey!

Wishing you the greatest birthday ever and many more to come!

Priorities

2010-10-15T17:17:00.001-04:00

I think deciding what is most important and what needs to be a priority is one of the most challenging aspects of life. There are so many good things to be involved in and so many great opportunities. And saying 'no' can be so hard! How quickly our lives (and by that, I mean, my family) become over committed. We struggle to keep things balanced and I feel like more often than not, Andrew look at each other and wonder how it has happened...again. :)

So, it's Friday. We have a busy weekend full of things that we want to do - soccer and church fall picnic (in case you are interested). But somewhere in this weekend, I must fit in the cleaning, menu planning, and school plans. We continue to learn to balance, to prioritize, to say 'no,' to choose carefully, and to love and teach our boys about serving others, about hospitality, and about the importance of family.

It's a work in progress. I write this post not so much for advice on how to prioritize :) but rather to share what I've been thinking on lately.

Mom Life

2010-10-13T10:29:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I find myself frustrated with the messy house, the noise level, the bickering, the constant questions and demands but the truth is, I don't wish these years away. I adore being a mom. My kids make me smile and laugh every single day. Even in the midst of stress, challenge, and well, let's face it...life, I wouldn't trade this stage in life. And when one of my sons says, "I love you all around the world lots of times and up to the moon," and another son says, "Mom, come see what I made," and another son flashes his smile and smothers me with kisses, I can't help but wish this time to last forever. Sure, my house feels like a disaster zone, I'm constantly tired, life is busy beyond belief, and we had take-out pizza for dinner one night this week, but it's a good life.

I never want to forget these moments. I treasure them. I want to make more memories. And I want my children to remember these years with joy.

Soup

2010-10-12T20:10:00.000-04:00

I made vegetable beef soup tonight and it made me think of the many wonderful pots of soup I've enjoyed at my Grandpa & Grandma C.'s house. Seriously, my grandma makes amazing vegetable soup! The bubbly, delicious, fragrant soup fills the house with wonderful smells. Good memories...good soup...AWESOME grandparents. :) Oh and in case you were wondering, my soup was tasty but it was not my grandma's.

Emotions? What?

2010-10-10T00:32:00.000-04:00

It's hard to put into words.
The emotions I feel.
I feel tremendously blessed.
And happy.
How could I not?
Three amazing boys.
One awesome husband.
And a lot of family.
And friends.
Yet something is stirring within me.
I can't quite put my finger on it.
Perhaps it will become clear.

Emotions are a funny thing.
Personal and at times, confusing.

Challenged.
Inspired.
Moved.
Blessed.
Loved.
Tearful.
Grateful.
Changed.

My Boys Thoughts On Family

2010-10-06T08:02:00.001-04:00

There is pretty much nothing sweeter to me than the words that our boys came up with when we talked about what family means to them. Knowing that they did not have the love and nurture of a family for a little over the first year of their life and seeing how far they have come in four years is inspiring. I am truly humbled and challenged by their list.

Happy
Love
Funny
Loving
Hugging
Holding
Heart
Babies
Brothers
Kissing
Fun
God
Mommy
Daddy
Playing
Sitting by each other

I love my family!

Happy Family Day!

2010-10-04T08:45:00.000-04:00

Four years ago today marks the day that a judge in Uralsk, Kazakhstan declared Calvin Amirkhan Joseph and Patrick Murat Rudolph to be forever our sons. It was a rainy, cold, dreary day as I recall but the weather couldn't squelch our amazing joy. You see, up until that day, we really weren't sure if we would be allowed to adopt both of our boys. We had been told 'no' and then we had been told that they would see what they could do but we could never get a for sure 'yes'. So, we celebrate October 4 as our family day - it was our 'for sure forever' day.

This is the first year that the boys more fully understand the significance of this time. It's really the birthday of our family. Since I was in Kazakhstan this year, I was able to pick up a few gifts for the boys which I know they will love.

What wonderful sons we have been blessed with. I love being a mom...their mom. I never would have guessed that God would gift us with three boys - none share our DNA but all are ours forever and we could not possibly love them more.

Happy Family Day, Calvin & Patrick. We love you forever. We are SO happy God brought you into our lives and made you a part of our family. You are amazing, resilient, smart, and sweet boys and I'm so proud of you both for your courage, trust, and big hearts.

Happenings

2010-10-02T21:51:00.001-04:00

Blogging has continued to fall by the wayside - between the school schedule, work, soccer, and various other activities, I find myself exhausted at the end of each day. So, here is a short list of the happenings of late:

- Calvin has his first loose tooth and I am rather emotional about it - just doesn't seem he can be old enough for that. We've discussed losing teeth and the tooth fairy a lot this week (don't judge - yes, the tooth fairy visits. What can I say, I'm a hygienist! :)). We are still deciding what the tooth fairy will bring for the very first tooth lost.

- Patrick has a favorite stuffed animal - a cat. He named her Kati and we currently have to tell Kati "goodnight" and we have to regularly acknowledge her presence. He has been singing all day, every day lately which is kind of cute - I like that he's singing his scripture memory song which is Ephesians 6.

- Titus is rapidly gaining words. He will now try to say almost anything for us - not so much for others. He likes colors - especially blue and yellow and proudly says those words. He really enjoys being included in school and asks me to write "ttttt" on his papers.

- We had a field trip to the apple orchard which prompted the boys to request that we make an apple pie. Today, we did just that and we tried a new recipe. It was delicious! I'll probably share it on the cooking blog.

- Speaking of The Cooks Next Door, we celebrate one year of having the blog up and running this next week! So exciting - it's been a great year! We continue to have lots of ideas, though time has been a challenge. :)

- We continue to plug away at home organization and de-junking. I'm encouraged by the progress and I'm finding that each step is very freeing. I'm looking forward to having more of it behind us!

- I was challenged by Katie @Heart Gone Walking to go through our clothes and find more to give to refugee families in our area. And along those lines, a huge thank-you for the donations from many of you! There is still plenty of need - there are many refugees in our city. You can check out Katie's blog to find out more of what is needed, how to get involved etc.

- It was kind of a tough week overall but I'm learning to seize the teachable moments. And I continue to remind myself that the boys are in kindergarten. :) We have a pretty intense curriculum but they are doing very well.

- After being ready to give up in the first two weeks of homeschooling, I can honestly say that I'm enjoying it. It's been challenging and rewarding. Finding books and resources to re-inforce lessons, coming up with crafts and fun projects, and being involved in every aspect of their education has actually been really awesome. We are all enjoying one another and I'm learning a lot about my kids. All in all, it's been a good first month of school.

And that's about it. :)

Walk for Kaz 2010

2010-09-28T08:00:00.004-04:00

Wow, I simply cannot put it into words how absolutely amazed I am by the first annual Walk for Kaz. It surpassed our expectations and I know I spent Saturday with happy, overwhelmed tears threatening to spill over - okay, a few may have even snuck out but don't tell anyone.

The total raised was $10,123.28!!! Thank you so much to everyone who supported this event in so many different ways! The money raised will go to provide new beds and mattresses for 100 children in the Ulan orphanage in Taraz. We hoped to contribute to the new bed project and instead, we ended the day with the project fully funded! What incredible support and love - we are so blessed!

I'm so thankful to have been a part of planning this event with three wonderful friends. We travelled together back to Kazakhstan in May and were once again reminded of the great need. Having the opportunity to raise money, to raise awareness, and to provide for the basic needs of orphans is a great privilege. My heart overflows with thankfulness.

Andrew and the boys walked - I'm so proud of the boys for making it the whole 3.1 miles! They had a wonderful day. Our family raised $250 - thank you to those who sponsored my guys to walk!

And finally, how about some more pictures of our fantastic, blessed day?

Lunch was delicious! We had a playground, bounce house, face painting, and toys for the kids! I can't say it enough - it was a FANTASTIC day!

*Photos - almost all of the photos were taken by my Dad (our photographer for the event!).

Local Family in Need

2010-09-27T09:33:00.003-04:00

Hey Everyone! I'm so excited to share about the Walk - we were amazed at the success! And I will do a post with pictures all about it - it will probably be up tomorrow.

For today, my real-life friend, Katie, brought to our attention a local family with some very important needs. I'm careful what I re-post and I think the post below is important. If you live locally, this is an awesome way to minister to a family in true need. I trust Katie & Joe - I've known them for a very long time.
Here's what she wrote:

Three weeks ago, Joe and I befriended a refugee family who live on the northside of Indy. They are a beautiful, sweet Karen family of seven who have lived the last 10 years in a refugee camp in Thailand. They have only been in America since July.

We initially thought we could to help them learn English, find jobs and understand American culture.

With the help of a translator this weekend, we learned they need much, much more.

I asked to see their bedrooms and saw sheets on only three out of five mattresses.

No blankets.

Maybe four long-sleeve shirts.

The youngest child had zero pants.

Seven pairs of flip-flops. One pair of soccer cleats.

I cried when the mom told us through the translator how cold they have been at night.

We had no idea how little they had and here I've been longing for sweater weather.

We immediately gave them blankets, sheets, some adult long-sleeve t-shirts and some of Madeline's winter clothes for the youngest child. But we didn't have any clothes for the boys or the older girl. We also didn't have any shoes that would fit.

There are many resources around the city through government agencies and churches to help needy families and in the last two days I received some great tips on where to take them and will do so this week.

But I wanted to ask you all as well because I know you are personally awesome. (Why yes, I am complimenting you so you'll be in the mood to give.)

If you have any clothes or closed-toe shoes that you want to purge, can I take them off your hands?If your kids have outgrown some clothes and you were going to give them (the clothes, not your kids) to Goodwill, can this family wear them?

The primary need is for warmer clothes like pants, sweatshirts, long-sleeve shirts, winter pajamas, etc. (I certainly won't turn down any coats but we will take them to Bob Gregory's Coats for Kids on October 30.)

We only have size estimates because most of the clothes didn't have tags but here's what we think:

Dad - medium
Mom - large
15 year old boy - medium/large
13 year old boy - extra large kids
10 year old girl - size 7
5 year old boy - size 4-5
4 year old girl - size 3-4

We don't know shoe sizes because their flip-flops are very worn down but if any donated shoes (or clothes) don't fit, I will gladly pass them onto someone else who has a great need as well. There are several hundred refugees in their apartment complex who are probably in very similar situations.This is a tougher request but if you have or know of a free or cheap bunk bed, please let me know. They have just put mattresses on the floor which takes up nearly all the available space in the bedrooms.

If you are able to give anything, please leave a comment or e-mail me {katiemayes @ gmail . com} and I'll be in touch. Thank you, thank you if you are able to help in any way, including passing this message along.

Please consider if you could be a part of their mission to help provide for some of the basic needs of this family. If you can help, feel free to bring donations to me and I will get them to Katie or contact her directly. Thanks, awesome readers!

It's Here

2010-09-24T15:46:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the 1st Annual Walk for Kaz! It's been so much work and I'm so excited for it to actually be here. I want to say a huge thanks to the family and friends (you know who you are!) who have supported us, asked about the walk, advertised the walk, signed up, and sponsored the walk or our family to walk. It means so much to Andrew and I and it means a TON to Calvin and Patrick. They are very pleased to have been born in Kazakhstan and they are concerned about the children there "who don't have mommies and daddies."

It's not too late to join us! Feel free to bring your family out tomorrow. Sounds like the weather will be gorgeous. There is lots of fun for the kids and lunch is provided for everyone. It's $20/individual and $50/family up to 6 people ($5/additional).

We are thrilled to have a chance to raise money for orphans in need and to show the love of Christ through providing for some of their most basic needs. We are praying for a successful and safe Walk for Kaz.

Pictures will come post walk. In the mean time, I challenge you to hug your kids close and pray for those children without parents to love and care for them. Consider how YOU can make a difference!

Homeschooling

2010-09-23T16:42:00.001-04:00

We are three weeks into the school year and starting to get a routine. I realize how much I have underestimated my children's abilities! We've had our challenging moments but we have also learned so much! It's been a joy to see the lightbulb go on and to realize how much arts and crafts motivate the boys. Here are some things that have helped our schooling efforts so far:

- Working together to list the different tasks we need to complete on the white board and erasing them as we go - they like to see the progress and they take personal responsibility to make sure the list is completed.
- Planning a fun school activity (usually art related) that we will do at the end of our other work. This is amazingly motivational.
- Using a variety of resources including books, cds, and computer. I love that it keeps them interested.

We school for maybe 2 - 2 1/2 hours and usually have a break with a snack and some time for free play. Overall things are getting easier - I was ready to give up in the beginning. :) I've found that Titus does best being included in whatever we are doing. He is welcome to play in the area with toys and I've tried planning special activities for him but really he just wants to try what we are doing. And it mostly works.

Here are a few pictures of the past few weeks with some explanation:

We studied the country of Afghanistan and made flags, listened to music, identified and colored Afghanistan on maps, made two traditional foods, read books and wrote the capital and country. We spent time talking about the political and religious climate of the country and we prayed for the country and for our troops there. I liked that this activity included art, home ec, music, writing, cultural studies and geography. We all had such a great time and look forward to many more country studies.

We studied the Crusades in history and made shields - they loved this activity and carefully studied the shield pictures from our books.

We Belong Together

2010-09-19T23:59:00.000-04:00

It's been incredibly emotional for me as I have been pondering the last 4 years. I was positive I wanted to adopt before I even got married but it is SO MUCH more amazing than I could have even imagined! I often have a hard time understanding why more people don't want to adopt - it's simply incredible. My heart overflows with love for my children. I can't imagine life without them and I would lay down my life for them.

We regularly consider if God would have more children to join our family and while we don't know if that is part of His plan for us. But we do know that we will gladly embrace more wonderful blessings as He directs and provides.

As I recounted to the boys the story of meeting them while looking at photos, I was so touched by the spontaneous, strong hug I received from my middle son. He doesn't tend to express his emotions as openly but it was a sincere, long, tight, I-might-never-let-you-go kind of hug. And was reminded that we all belong together and that we all have blessed one another. I held in the tears and hugged him back - thanking God for my precious gifts.

4 Years Ago I Held Them For the First Time

2010-09-16T23:54:00.003-04:00

I like to write and I like to record and I hope that my children enjoy it some day. Speaking of which...4 years ago yesterday, I held my oldest two babies for the very first time. I'm getting a little choked up just thinking about it - it was the fulfillment of a dream, the answer to many prayers, and the end of a difficult and emotional journey. What a blessed addition they have been to our family. Miles and miles separated us and God brought us together forever. I'm so thankful. Looking through the photos of our amazing month plus stay in Kazakhstan make it even harder to believe how much time has passed. I can't stop the waterworks. It's the most wonderful thing ever - knowing that these beautiful boys are ours - forever - our sons.

We are a family.

Walk for Kaz

2010-09-10T17:35:00.001-04:00

We are officially two weeks out from our first annual Walk for Kaz (September 25 at 8:30 a.m.)! The planning has been going on for months and it's hard to believe it's almost here. It's been a lot of work - each of the planners has spent many hours on different tasks. I'm so hopeful that we will raise a lot of money for the orphans of Kazakhstan. It was so exciting to see water filtration systems be installed and other donations received at the baby house I visited in May. Two Hearts is doing amazing work to provide for orphans.

I often ponder what it must be like to grow up as an orphan - they didn't chose that life. It breaks my heart. One of the hardest things about being back in Kazakhstan was seeing those beautiful faces and realizing that Calvin and Patrick could have been one of them. Thankfully God had another plan for them and chose to bring them in to our family - a fact that we don't take lightly - we are so grateful!

Our family is committed to continue raising funds and seeking to make a difference for the children still waiting and for the children that will never be available for various reasons. The statistics are heartbreaking for these kiddos. I was so challenged to continue to be involved however I can be after going back and also after seeing how much it meant to Calvin and Patrick. We trust and pray that God will use the ministry of Two Hearts to bring hope and make a difference for each child it reaches.

All of that to say...it's not too late to sign up to walk, to make a pledge for our family (or others who are walking), and/or to provide sponsorship to offset the cost of putting on the event! We are so excited to have around 80 walkers registered already! It's going to be a great event for a really great cause!

You can check out our website or e-mail me for more information! Please consider joining our family!

Where Have I Been?

2010-09-09T22:53:00.001-04:00

Have I dropped off the face of the earth? Perhaps...it kind of feels like it. :) I'm barely keeping up with everything since we started the school year and allergies are kicking me in the behind. But really, we are okay. I miss blogging and I'll be back soon - just haven't had the energy, creativity or time. So for today, here are some pictures of my kiddos because when all else fails, post cute pictures. :)

About Time

2010-08-27T13:35:00.000-04:00

All of sudden, Titus is deciding to try words. I love it! He is repeating them after us with a great big smile. While they aren't always clear, he's making a good effort! While we were adding maybe a few words a week, now we are adding a few words a day. We still have to remind him to use the words but it's progress. He is so funny - not sure what has changed his mind on the talking front but I'm glad. I wasn't too worried but nevertheless I feel some relief. :)

Changing It Up!

2010-08-26T22:10:00.000-04:00

You know this continual goal I have of getting organized? Well, we are slowly making progress. I'm thrilled. My desire is to have a place for everything and everything in it's place. :) Granted with kids that is a tall order. But I want to continue to train them to pick after themselves, take care of the things we have been blessed with, and to be vigilant in helping to maintain order.

We've debated various ways to help our home to more effectively function and I think we've come up with some good ideas. I'm anxious to see how it will all play out. We built this house as our starter home 6 1/2 years ago and intended to stay for 5-7 years but we've decided to stay put for now. We love many things about our home and we really like the location...so for now, we are committed to making it work. I'm sure we will begin the search for a new house in a few years and I think that will be a bittersweet day. I just love that it's our first house and that we've brought all of our kiddos home here!

Anyway, I digress... We've (well, mostly me) been really pondering the play area and trying to figure out how to best organize the toys. We finally decided to do a modular unit and I think it will not only be functional but it will look nice. On a side note, do any of you find that toys seem to multiply while you sleep? It seems little junky toys are the worst offenders...you know, the ones I throw away all.the.time. Ugh. So tonight we are putting together the units to get ready for the great toy move. The move (in which not all toys will make the cut) will be a welcome change. We are also changing locations for the play area and moving it back to our loft. A big hooray from this need-to-be-organized-but-never-seem-to-manage-momma.

Quick Chicago Trip

2010-08-25T23:02:00.000-04:00

I think a post and pictures of our great trip to Louisville will be coming! I somehow managed to forget my nice cameras and so we had to rely on Andrew's iphone camera which takes suprisingly nice pictures but just isn't quite the same. Not sure where my head was... :)

In the mean time, we had a trip to Chicago today for Calvin's ENT & Audiology follow-up appointment. I took all three boys and my mom to help out. They were good travelers overall. It was a long day since it's a bit of a hike up there but the news was great! Calvin's ears look good so far - the tubes are out but there is no fluid build-up and he is hearing fine! So...we are going to now blame selective hearing for the, "huhs?," "whats?," and "I didn't hear yous?" :) We will return in another three months for a re-check to make sure the ears are remaining clear.

I asked about Calvin's tonsils - his left one is nearly always bigger than his right. And when he gets sick, his tonsils are the first to respond. He also had a couple of rounds of srep this year. The ENT is not worried at this point since Calvin doesn't snore. We will keep an eye on them.

It was a good day and a really good report! Calvin continues to be a trooper about his appointments and speech therapy. I was so impressed with his ability to perform the hearing test today. And we are incredibly blessed by the hospital and staff. They know Calvin (he is a bit of a "celebrity" since they asked to feature his story in their brochure - we agreed - it's the least we can do for all the wonderful things they have done for us!) and are always happy to see him. His ENT has done both sets of tubes and the audiologist has performed all but maybe one of his many hearing tests. :) It's a drive but we are so thankful for the care they provide.

We had a chance to stop and see my grandparents on the way home which was wonderful. More on that another time... I'm exhausted and headed for bed. Work tomorrow but first the making of a coffee cake which will be featured on the cooking blog tomorrow...

Just A Small Note...

2010-08-23T21:32:00.001-04:00

...The irony of the little girl beauty pageants (aka Toddler & Tiara style) being hosted at the hotel that we met our friends at this weekend...our friends who also have three boys...which made the total number of boys five and under to be six...was not lost on me. Oh yes, we saw some poses and some attitude and some hair and some frilly things. The boys were unimpressed.

Thoughts as the Fall Draws Near

2010-08-22T20:36:00.001-04:00

September is quickly approaching and with it, a new school year and a new work schedule. We have decided to be more purposeful and structured with our days while still leaving room for spontaneity and flexibility. It is time for our boys to have increased responsibility and with that will come more privileges. I'm ready to embark on this journey of kindergarten. I want to be deliberate in our activities and I want to seize the teachable moments.

Titus will have bins with special things to occupy him for each day - hopefully keeping him interested. I think it will be a challenge to have two with very different learning styles and personalities along with a two-year-old but I imagine we will eventually find a good balance. :)

We are working on goals for each child - educational, personal, and spiritual. We want to note the growth and development and to come alongside our sons and encourage them as they mature, as they learn, and as they make new friends and spend time with old friends. These are not goals just for school but for life and for us as a family. And Andrew and I will be making goals for ourselves, too.

Yes, bring on the fall...but give us a little bit more time. We have things to get ready!

The Day in Numbers

2010-08-19T20:53:00.002-04:00

5:11 a.m. - wake-up for at least the third time and realize that I, quite strangely, left my contacts in overnight
5:45 a.m. - rise, shower & shine after an interrupted and sleepless night
6:25 a.m. - depart for work
2 cups of coffee
7:00 a.m. - arrive at work and prep for the busy day
7:30 a.m. - morning meeting
1 cup of coffee
1 carton of yogurt
1 busy morning
12:00 p.m. - soup for lunch
1 tall glass of iced coffee
1 busy and a little bit strange afternoon
5:10 p.m. - finally depart work 1 hour 40 minutes later than normal
3 slow lanes of traffic
6:00 p.m. - arrive home & start dinner prep
1 incredibly thankful momma for having picked up Trader's Joe's fresh pizza dough yesterday
6:15 p.m. - Andrew & boys arrive home
1 happy-to-see-her-4-guys-momma
3 sons bursting with stories of the day
1 husband grateful for home
7:00 p.m. - dinner is ready
1 pizza
100+ blueberries
1 boy eats too many (that will be fun tomorrow)
1 momma playing with her youngest outside
2 new words - go & bump
1 daddy and 2 boys enjoying a movie
8:30 p.m. - singing, prayers, & bedtime
1 blog post still to write
1 workout that will possibly be skipped
5 people to pack for a very fun trip
3 baskets of laundry to fold
1 kitchen to clean
1 dog sitter to find (oops, forgot)
1 bed calling my name

Total coffee consumed=too much and not enough.
Glad to see this day coming to an end.

Birthday Fun

2010-08-17T07:53:00.000-04:00

Titus is SO proud of being 2. We talked about his special day and he would get very excited and give a great big smile! He had a wonderful day - we decided not to do a party and just to keep it simple. He didn't care at all and had a wonderful day! I let him choose his cake flavor and decoration - he definitely chose chocolate and wanted the goldfish cupcakes from the wonderful book, "Hello, Cupcake." (You may recall that I used this book last year to decorate his cupcakes for his big 1st birthday party!)

He was thrilled with his gifts, his birthday meal, and most of all that the attention was all on him. :) His brothers carefully chose the presents they gave and he loved them - it was so sweet. Here are a few pictures from our 2-year-olds birthday!

Titus

2010-08-16T11:04:00.000-04:00

So hard to believe Titus turned 2 - it seems forever and yesterday all at the same time since he joined our family. I constantly marvel at how everything fell into place from the start to finish. I'm not sure I've ever felt so many emotions in a 4 month period.

Dear Titus,

How can you possibly be 2? I remember so clearly the day we met you in the hospital - so tiny and helpless in the incubator. Your entrance into this world was a little rough and unexpected but very much welcomed! I was so nervous to hold you - afraid you would break. Looking into your sweet face, I instantly fell in love. We spent some emotional and scary days wondering if you would truly be ours - wishing and hoping and praying. And then we took you home.

What a sweet boy you are! You have stolen the hearts of everyone in our family with your happy-go-lucky, funny, and affectionate personality. You try to be old beyond your years and you are a complete daredevil - making me one extra watchful mommy. While you crawled and walked early, you have taken your time on talking but that has not stopped you from communicating! You have about 35 words now which you use when you feel like it. :) You are adept at animal sounds, identifying body parts, and singing. I love the way you hold up one finger and tell us you are, "Two!" when asked your age.

You are a little foodie - amazing me with your palate and willingness to try new things. You often go to the silverware drawer, pull out a spoon, and bring it to me to sample whatever I am making on the stove. Usually a declaration of "yum" follows. You also enjoy talking on the phone and having conversations with varous members of the family. You think my cell phone is your personal phone as you pick it up and say, "Hewwo" or sometimes "Hello" depending on your mood. And you have mastered the word "no" as most two-year-olds have.

Life is an adventure to you and you embrace each day with gusto. You love life, you love your brothers, and you love Pippi. You can't wait until Daddy gets home - squealing and running to give him a great big hug. I love the moments you spend cuddling with me. You are often my little shadow and I love it.

I think of your first mom almost every day and feel so thankful to her for giving you life and for choosing us to be your forever family. It was a tough decision for her but she truly wanted what was best for you and we will always love and honor her for that.

What a sweet and wonderful son you are. It's a joy watching you grow and develop - to see your ideas, opinions, and personality emerge. I'm incredibly thankful and privileged to be your mom. I thank God for you daily and as I look into your beautiful eyes, am the recipient of your sweet hugs and affectionate kisses, I fall even more in love you, little man. I love you forever, always, and unconditionally, Titus. Happy Birthday, baby boy.

Love forever,
Mommy

Sometimes I'm Ditzy

2010-08-13T12:26:00.003-04:00

Our Jeep has been in the shop this week.
I took Andrew to pick it up this morning.
And decided to run errands.
I completely forgot that Calvin's speech therapist was coming for a session.
She called when I was checking out at Kohls.
Thankfully, she was awesome about it.
We made it home in about 10 minutes.
I left while he had his session...
To take my brother coffee.
(He had his wisdom teeth out on Wednesday).
And to pick up the gift my parents forgot for a wedding.
I was at Kohls to buy a gift for the same wedding tomorrow.
The wedding is about 3 1/2 hours away.
Andrew is staying home to get things done...
Both work and home things.
Like using our new mower since our old one finally died.
My sister, Margaret, and her husband are riding with the boys and me.
We will return home late tomorrow night...
To get ready for a big 2 year-olds birthday on Sunday.
He has chosen chocolate cupcakes made into fishbowls
They are super cute but I'm not sure when I will get them done. :)
We decided not to have a party this year.
I am SO glad.

Whew, hopefully no more ditzy moments. I'm tired just thinking about the weekend. :) And I can't believe my baby is turning 2. I'm feeling a little mushy, emotional.

Tales

2010-08-12T07:24:00.002-04:00

Calvin is hilarious. The kid has an impressive imagination and an inquisitive, very deep side. Recently, he offered to tell me a story. I agreed that I would certainly love to hear a story and thus began THE STORY. It was long and involved and so funny. It included, "once upon a time," "over a bridge and through the forest," lots of "ginormous" things, and characters named Calvin, Patrick, Titus, Alaina, and Daddy F as well as an old man. Those characters were not any of us but rather different people. The setting of the story was during the time of dinosaurs and a T. Rex had an important role however the daddy was ginormous - bigger than the T. Rex. There were also 3 pigs and 3 foxes ("Do you know what colors, Mom? Black, dark blue, and brown."

What a tale it was and included a conversation with God. I was entertained and amazed at the detail. All of this came from my son who has a goal of, "tearing down all the big buildings and building one great big one up to heaven." (Yes, we've discussed the tower of Babel and what a mistake that was.) He keeps us laughing for sure!

Walk for Kaz

2010-08-11T12:35:00.002-04:00

We are working hard to have a successful 1st Annual 5K Walk for Kaz! I'm so honored to be planning it with three amazing ladies. We have been busily working to promote and fundraise for it.

It's a cause that is so important to our family. Spending time in orphanages and with the sweet kiddos in Kazkhstan has forever changed our perspective on the world and challenged us to make a difference! I'm excited to play this role in event-planning and fundraising to provide for more of the needs of these children. 100% of the proceeds will go to Two Hearts for Hope to continue their work and I have seen first-hand that the funds go directly to bringing hope and providing basic necessities for the children of Kazakhstan.

Our family would love to have you come out and join us September 25 at 8:30 a.m. for a day of family fun, walking for a cause, and giving back. We have hotel information on the website if you live out of state and want to participate. If you can't walk but would like to be a sponsor, there are opportunities for that as well. You can sponsor a specific need for the walk, give a general donation, or sponsor our family or other walkers. Early registration ends this week on August 15!

Please check out our website! It's going to be a great time!

The Camping Trip

2010-08-09T08:00:00.002-04:00

What a fun weekend!

We enjoyed:
- Yummy food cooked over the fire.
- Swimming.
- A 2-mile hike - yep, all 5 of us - with some stream stomping!
- The Nature Center.
- Lots of great family time.

Here are some photos from the weekend (side note: Patrick was not into having his photo taken therefore there are not very many of him. :)):

Camping

2010-08-06T00:09:00.000-04:00

We are going camping this weekend! I can't wait...we haven't been in a couple of years and I've missed it! I grew up camping - it was our annual vacation. The boys are THRILLED. They simply cannot wait and I'm excited for them.

Calvin is sad that Pippi will be remaining at home with the dog sitter (aka my brother) but he is looking forward to zipping the tent. Patrick couldn't contain his smile and beam as we discussed our weekend. (We didn't tell the boys until tonight.)

It will be such a relaxing weekend. We decided on the primitive section of the campground - more shade and less people. There is a pool at the campground, hiking, and the all-important campfire. :) It will be wonderful to be away with all of my boys!

Workout Buddies

2010-08-04T10:33:00.001-04:00

My kids are morning people...me...not so much. :) So, I typically do my workout after they are up which is interesting. Two of them (the oldest and youngest) peel off their shirts to workout with me and the middle one critiques them. The oldest makes fun of the workout host while giggling and the youngest has to be stopped from jumping on me when I'm on the ground. Yesterday, the car alarm was set off and two of the doors were opened while I was working out (from the key fab). Yes...interesting... However, they are very motivational in that they are excited about it every morning, so there's a plus. :)

The first week of my new health/fitness plan is going great! I'm doing a combo of high impact (30-day Shred) and lower impact (pilates). I have found in the past that doing straight high impact is too hard on my previously (and sadly, permanently) injured back and neck, so I alternate days. I'm feeling the workouts which is precisely the point.

I'm eating lower carb, lower fat, and lots of fresh - not a diet just consistently healthier choices. My daily breakfast, which I'm eating regularly (a good thing in and of itself), has been nonfat plain yogurt, blueberries, and flax seed. It's delicious and includes some of the dairy I need to be including in my diet (I'm not a milk drinker).

All in all, successful so far. Hoping for continued success and motivation! While we generally eat fairly healthy and lead at least a somewhat active lifestyle (we have three boys after all :)), it was important to me to be more deliberate about health and fitness. I would like to be in better shape and just chasing the kids wasn't enough! So, there you have it - that's the report from week 1. :)

4 Years Have Brought Change

2010-08-03T08:26:00.000-04:00

If you've been following my blog since the beginning, you may remember this post and this post. But one day I woke up and realized that my previous posts were no longer true. Sushi is amazing. And that is that. I have joined the world of sushi lovers.

Random & Question

2010-08-02T10:06:00.001-04:00

- Today is day 1 of my new workout plan - yay!
- Everyone seems to be healthier after a couple of the boys were sick last week.
- We are making some great progress towards continuing on our organization quest.
- School starts in one month.
- Teething seems to be in full force with Ty - upper molars.
- Getting excited for the Walk! Really hoping for a good Indy turn out - please consider walking or volunteering! It's a great family event!
- We are completely cutting our dish (we've gone to the very basic package but really don't need it) and joining basic netflix instead.

And finally, any ideas on keeping toys more organized? We have done bins and we try to weed out toys fairly regularly but it doesn't seem entirely successful. Any shelving units (inexpensive) you would recommend for the play area?

Patrick Turns 5!

2010-07-29T23:03:00.001-04:00

I can hardly believe that Patrick turns 5 today. What a wonderful gift he is to our family! I wonder if his birthmom thinks of him today - I know I think of her and feel deep gratitude for her giving him life. And I wish I could tell her what a beautiful, responsible, delightful, precious son he is - maybe she somehow knows (I hope so!). I just love my son!

Dear Patrick,

You have been eagerly anticipating the day you would turn 5. You carefully planned the menu and cake and you have beamed from ear to ear every time we talk about your big day. It's been so fun to watch though it's bittersweet as I see you growing up so fast.

It seems you have grown so tall this year! You are adorably handsome (even if I am a bit biased!) with your dark eyes and hair and very good looks. You are so particular about what you wear and choose the most comfortable clothes in your closet - sport shorts and t-shirts. I love that you humor me and dress-up a little more when we are going out but only after asking, "Can I change back into this when we get home?"

You finished preschool and did well! You made so many friends this year and it warms my heart to see how much you care for them. I can't believe how much you like letters and numbers - you are so ready to read and write and you ask me how to spell things all the time! And your artistic side has definitely emerged as you color pictures, draw, and paint. You can hardly wait until kindergarten and I'm looking forward to us spending lots of time learning together this fall!

Patrick, you are such a great brother. Both of your brothers love you so much. Sweet boy, you bring so much joy to our lives. I love your stories, your company, your responsible help, and your excitement about food and cooking. You are so affectionate and cuddling with you is so fun whether we are talking, reading, or resting. And I like the way you scratch my back and always make sure that I like it...so precious.

This week I overheard you proudly tell a friend that you were born in Kazakhstan by pointing to the flag on your shirt and explaing that you were born there. And my heart overflowed to hear how you embrace your heritage - a heritage that we love! What a blessing that God brought you to us from halfway around the world! We love you so much and feel incredibly blessed that we were chosen to be your parents and that you are a part of our family!

I love you forever and always, Patrick. Happy 5th Birthday!

Love, Mommy

Working It Out!

2010-07-28T12:58:00.000-04:00

Next Monday marks the start of my new fitness regime. My sisters are joining me in acountability as we work towards our personal goals. I'm so excited to be doing this together! We have worked out some fun get-together rewards that depend on all of us working hard on our list of goals. One of my plans is for our family to continue incorporating vegetarian meals into our diet - at least twice a week. I'm looking forward to branching out and trying some great new recipes!

The four of us don't live in the same area, so we started a private blog that we can all update it with our progress. The way we have set it up, makes it easy for us to set our own individual goals and for us to identify what we believe will be our most challenging one to meet. So, this week is prep week - getting ready to embark on a much more agressive and purposeful health and fitness plan!

Accountability will be key for me - I MUST have it. I'm simply not motivated enough to do it all on my own. Perhaps I will update here occasionally with my progress and feel free to check in with me and find out how it's going!

Creative Outlet

2010-07-26T14:20:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I had to stay home from church with a sick kiddo and so I made dinner while the sick one slept and the rest were at church. It was blissful (other than the heat and, of course, missing church!). As I stirred and mixed and tasted and put together three new recipes, I couldn't help but realize how much I love, love, love to cook and bake. I mean it's no surprise except that sometimes I can lose sight of what I enjoy, how I am gifted, and what my creative outlets are...life gets busy, meal time is crazy and I'm sometimes rushing to get dinner on the table. And I totally forget how much I actually need to step back and take a breather and have some time by myself to just cook and bake for fun.

For me, putting a beautiful meal on the table is a way I show love. I carefully think and plan and seek to make it special for whomever is joining us for dinner - taking note if I know they have certain likes or dislikes etc. I enjoy the process and it is a delight to add the extra touches, to try a new recipe, or to make it a little fancier. It's not to say I always succeed or that every meal is a masterpiece but rather that it is a creative expression for me.

Creativity comes in many forms and I think it's important to take time for whatever we enjoy as our outlet or hobby. And I'm always curious what inspires others, so feel free to share!

Now if only that dish fairy would show up, I'd be set and my sweet, dish-washing, taste-testing, super-supportive husband would get a break! :)

Menu Plan Monday: 7/26-8/1

2010-07-25T22:38:00.002-04:00

It's been entirely too long since I've seriously menu planned and I'm feeling it. So, at least for this week, I'm back on the wagon and joining in to Laura's MPM over at I'm an Organizing Junkie. So here's what will be happening in my kitchen this week!

DINNERS

MONDAY: Baseball Game (it's $1 night so we will be enjoying ball park hotdogs, popcorn, etc. :))

TUESDAY: Soft Tacos or Quesadillas, Sauteed Zuchinni w/Onion, Strawberries

WEDNESDAY: Chicken Vegetable Stir-fry, Brown Rice, Blueberries

THURSDAY: Hamburgers w/the works, Veggie tray, Chips, Watermelon, Cake & Icecream (it's my middle son's 5th birthday so he ordered this!)

FRIDAY: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, Birthday leftovers (we have a wedding to attend)

SATURDAY: Homemade Pizza (vegetarian), Carrots, Celery & Peanut butter, Fruit

SUNDAY: Roast w/potatoes, carrots & onions, Salad, Bread, Cherry Pie

I'm also hoping to make a new blueberry muffin recipe for breakfasts this week and a blueberry cake for a gathering at my sister's house. And those recipes will hopefully be featured on Thursday over on the recipe blog I co-author - The Cooks Next Door.

BREAKFASTS: Muffins, Oatmeal, Cereal, Toast, Fruit, Yogurt

LUNCHES: Leftovers, PB & J, Yogurt & Fruit, Burritos, Quesadillas

Hopefully I will be able to stick to the plan this week! Check out orgjunkie.com for many more menu and recipe ideas and to join in her Menu Plan Monday carnival!

This Funny 23 Month Old Little Guy...

2010-07-23T08:00:00.001-04:00

...went potty on the potty for the very first time this week! There was much cheering and the little guy was pretty proud. He enjoyed his treat very much. Earlier that same day, he picked out his first pack of big boy pants - from the three choices, he very quickly and adamantly chose Toy Story underwear. He hasn't seen it but I think he recognizes the characters. :) Too cute. And here are some pictures of said little guy!

The Merits of Home Phone

2010-07-22T08:25:00.000-04:00

We've been seriously contemplating cancelling our home phone and relying solely on our cell phones.

There are a few things that are keeping us from it:
1) We are attached to our phone number - crazy, I know. BUT it identifies us as residents of our town since the post office doesn't handle our mail.
2) We like not being reachable by everyone at all times. No offense. :)
3) We are a little old-fashioned and just like the idea of a home phone.
4) We are concerned that we would need to significantly increase our monthly cell minutes which might not save us much in the end.

Reasons we are considering cutting it:
1) We want to decrease monthly expenses - this is, of course, the #1 and main reason.
2) Most people have our cell numbers and use them.
3) We are not attached to the MANY sales, donation, and other calls we receive.

So...any thoughts on this decision? Have any of you made that decision (to cancel your home phone...not to never sign up for it)? Also, more generally, if you only use your cell phones, do you like it?

I'm sure it seems a bit ridiculous that it's such big deal for us but it really is...for both of us! :)

Menu & Food

2010-07-21T08:54:00.001-04:00

We (the sisters) carefully planned our menu for the weekend taking into consideration the various dietary needs of our family. In the end, for the main course we had a theme of food on sticks. :) It wasn't really on purpose but it was delicious!

I used lemons & limes as inspiration for decorating and making the menu cards. The colors were vibrant and summery!

Appetizers:

Hummus & Pita
Crudites & Dip
Homemade Sushi (courtesy of my brother, Noah)

Dinner Menu:

Beef & Chicken Kabobs
Brown Rice Medley
Roasted Vegetables
Caprese Salad Skewers
Fruit Skewers

And somehow I missed getting any pictures of dessert!

Dessert Menu:

Homemade Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
Brownies
Angel Food Cake
Strawberries & Blueberries

The Seven

2010-07-20T08:21:00.003-04:00

Here are some photos of my siblings. I'm the oldest of seven. It was a blast growing up! There was pretty much never a dull moment. My youngest brother (the one standing by me) is a senior in highschool this fall...meaning there is 14 years, 2 months from the first to the last. The four girls were in the first five forcing my brother (4th born) to threaten to pack a suitcase and leave if #6 wasn't a boy. He probably meanr it - I'm sure we scarred him for life making him dress-up, come to our beauty salons, and much more. He was a good sport, though.

We have all given our parents many gray hairs over the years (some more than others...ahem) but don't they look absolutely great?!