I frequently ponder my responsibilities as a mother and lately those reflections have been on saying that little two-letter word...'no.' Too often, I find myself saying 'no' to my kids. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing to say but a lot of times, I think my reasons are selfish.
Here are the three main reasons, I think my response is negative:
1. I am too busy.
2. I do not want to do (and am not interested in) whatever is asked.
3. It is inconvenient for me.
When I look at the list, I notice a startling theme - those main reasons are ALL about me. There are, of course, other good reasons to say 'no' - safety, timing, etc. but those are not generally my main reasons.
The truth is...sometimes I will hear myself say that word and wonder why in the world I didn't just say 'yes.'
I don't get a re-do on this parenting thing, nor do I want my children's prevelent memories to be of me giving unnecessary and unreasonable negative responses. Honestly, I find that sometimes...I have created the discipline situations in our home by my lack of wisdom in the use of the word 'no.' Wow. That is not something I am proud of at all.
As I have continued reflecting and seeking to grow, I realize that my desire is to:
- Build trust.
- Have my 'no' be meaningful - not my knee-jerk response.
- Bring joy to our home.
- Love my kids better.
- Be a gentle example.
So, I'm working on saying 'yes' more often, pondering my 'no' before saying it, allowing myself to be "inconvienced," giving more of myself to my kids, showing more interest in their ideas, and realizing that these years are (in many ways) fleeting. I want to look back without regret and with joy. YES! YES! YES!
5 comments:
I was just thinking about this just the other day. I need to start saying yes more often because I say no for the same reasons you have listed.
So well said -- I think about this alot. Today, our church message was all about "play", and I thought about how often I don't "play" with my kids because I have other things to do. Ugh, they grow sooooo fast, too! I'm rededicated to "yes" and "play." Love this post!
Great post! I am in the same boat here!
Thanks for sharing and reminding me of many things I already know to be true about myself. I remember years ago choosing one day to say 'yes' to every reasonable request that my kids made. It was one of the best days ever because in the end all they were asking of me was that I enter into their world for just a little while. They didn't need much. They just wanted me there for a little while.
Great post. I do the same thing, with the same three reasons. And it is HARD to change, but change we must. Good luck, and pray for me as I try to change myself.
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