I frequently ponder my responsibilities as a mother and lately those reflections have been on saying that little two-letter word...'no.' Too often, I find myself saying 'no' to my kids. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing to say but a lot of times, I think my reasons are selfish.
Here are the three main reasons, I think my response is negative:
1. I am too busy.
2. I do not want to do (and am not interested in) whatever is asked.
3. It is inconvenient for me.
When I look at the list, I notice a startling theme - those main reasons are ALL about me. There are, of course, other good reasons to say 'no' - safety, timing, etc. but those are not generally my main reasons.
The truth is...sometimes I will hear myself say that word and wonder why in the world I didn't just say 'yes.'
I don't get a re-do on this parenting thing, nor do I want my children's prevelent memories to be of me giving unnecessary and unreasonable negative responses. Honestly, I find that sometimes...I have created the discipline situations in our home by my lack of wisdom in the use of the word 'no.' Wow. That is not something I am proud of at all.
As I have continued reflecting and seeking to grow, I realize that my desire is to:
- Build trust.
- Have my 'no' be meaningful - not my knee-jerk response.
- Bring joy to our home.
- Love my kids better.
- Be a gentle example.
So, I'm working on saying 'yes' more often, pondering my 'no' before saying it, allowing myself to be "inconvienced," giving more of myself to my kids, showing more interest in their ideas, and realizing that these years are (in many ways) fleeting. I want to look back without regret and with joy. YES! YES! YES!