It's been kind of a weird month for me. So here are a few of the random thoughts floating around somewhere in this tired brain.
- I've found myself frustrated and burned out on homeschooling - I think it's the time of year. We are in our final few months and we are in our final 4 weeks of our homeschool group. We keep pressing on though and the boys have made great progress this year! I love the curriculum(s) we are using and overall I have enjoyed homeschooling far more than I ever imagined. We continue to take it one year at a time and that works for us.
- My Grandma's death has still just been a really hard thing for me. Tears sneak up when I least expect them, my voice catches and throat tightens. I still hear her voice, her advice, her laugh and I still feel her soft, cool hand. She would have been 92 this past weekend. I don't wish her back - she is in a better place - but I think the reality of it is sinking in by stages and it's incredibly painful. I haven't even been able to think about writing much because I just think of her - she was a gifted writer and encouraged me to blog.
- We are actively praying that God will lead us in how He wants us to be involved in orphan care. We sense that He is not finished growing our family. I am daily overwhelmed by the need, convicted of my responsibility to continue advocating, and challenged to never give up. Admittedly, I struggle with feeling like so few understand the urgency, the tremendous need, the epidemic, the responsibility. As I've told my husband many times (and he agrees) - we can offer love, a family, safety, and most importantly the Gospel to ANY child.
I wrote this on fb today: I think if we walked in an orphan's shoes for just a short time, our eyes and hearts would be incredibly opened. I can't even imagine my big boys' first year...and millions (est. 163,000,000) of children haven't found families. As my heart breaks, I can't help but continually ask God what more I can do...
This is our prayer. What can we do? We continue to ask and seek and remain open to God's leading.