I know I have dropped off the face of the earth. It's been quite the transition in our family. E is doing great but I'm exhausted. :)
In reality, we are always working towards healing for our children who have all experienced trauma in their young year(s). Our home feels like chaos sometimes and I sometimes wish for "normal" (whatever that is) but I am thankful that this is the journey God has called us, too.
I struggle to keep balance between wife, mom, homeschooler, dental hygienist, and whatever else. I long for organization and order and rarely have it. If you drop by my house, the dishes may or may not be done, the dining room table will likely have things on it, my pantry/laundry room will most definitely have the door pulled close, and don't even think about seeing the bedrooms. :) I remember what it was like to have it all clean at one time (I LOVE organization!) and every once in awhile it happens, but mostly we are in survival mode. Nurture is more important and so I might opt to read that story or have that cuddle or play that game or go to bed or recharge over getting every bit of housework completed every day.
So, we soldier on, we make sometimes hard choices for our family, and we constantly seek to love, understand, and care for our children better. They are a delight. We love them with all of our hearts. We are proud of the people they are becoming. Our lives and priorities have changed...for the better.
Our big boys will be doing presentations about our family at our co-op this week and I asked them what they wanted to share - P stated that he wanted to tell his class where each person in our family is from and what some of our traditions are (like celebrating the Kazakh New Year). My heart nearly burst as I blinked the tears back - he is [they are] incredibly proud of our diverse and unique family and it's his story to share.
And so, in the weariness and struggles, I grieve. And yet I so often see the progress and rejoice.
Thankful and blessed.