Friday, April 09, 2010

Tough

Tomorrow is the boys' first soccer game and they are excited! I find it a little bittersweet - they are growing up! We will definitely take a picture of them in their cute little uniforms.

Blogging has been hard this week. The few posts I've done have not flowed and have taken more time than usual to write. Not sure why but it's made me not want to blog much. I intended to post more pictures from Easter and Spring Break but still haven't gotten that done either. I have been doing a lot of Sudoku puzzles which has been fun! I hadn't picked one up in years.

I think I've just found myself frustrated. Parenting has been extra hard especially this week. Good attitudes, obedience, respect, and kindness have been replaced with...well, the opposite. It's disappointing and challenging as we seek to train the hearts of our sons and as I find myself struggling to respond with grace and patience. And so I am feeling very weary and working very hard to notice (and praise) the good behavior and have positive interactions with each child in addition to the correction. It all measures up to feeling like a failure in the parenting department a lot of the week.

The week has been busy between soccer starting, practice being cancelled and rescheduled, regular school, and the trip to Chicago. So I guess all of that has contributed to a tough week here in our home away from home. Just keeping it real here.

5 comments:

Jennifer M said...

Even when it doesn't feel like it's flowing for you, it's flowing for us.

You nailed it again with: "It's disappointing and challenging as we seek to train the hearts of our sons and as I find myself struggling to respond with grace and patience. And so I find myself feeling very weary and working very hard to notice (and praise) the good behavior and have positive interactions with each child in addition to the correction. It all measures up to feeling like a failure in the parenting department a lot of the week."

I bet 9 out of 10 mom's will throw their hands in the air and with nodding heads say, "Amen sista!"

I hope your weekend is wonderful with A and the crew.

Betty said...

I agree with Jennifer. Amen, Sista! I was just thinking this morning how when I pray for patience, I'm really praying for things to go smoothly, not for a chance to exercise of the fruits of the Spirit that don't come naturally for me. They are learning, Mama, just as you are. It's tough this side of Heaven.
I love your posts and totally get your frustrations. It's so easy to get caught up in this world of blogging and it flowing perfect, right? I struggle constantly, then realize it's an outlet, not a necessity.
Here to read whenever you are up to writing :)

Monica said...

Alaina, you are exactly the mom that these boys need. I know that it's hard to keep on tending a garden that seems to grow nothing but weeds, but keep at this hard work and one day you'll be amazed by a beautiful harvest.

I hear you about the blogging hangup. I've been there for about three weeks and haven't even posted.

Amanda said...

What wonderful news about Calvin! We are praying your transition back into your home goes smoothly and quickly. You are a wonderful mother... don't let the tough times get you down! You are doing one of the toughest jobs on Earth, and bringing great glory to our God.
Love to you all!

kitzkazventure said...

Well, I didn't even blog in March.....I have to get something done in April or I really will be a failure! ;) I so understand your weariness in training and not seeing any results but the fact that we are at least doing the training is so far and above what most children get these days. Be encouraged that you are an awesome parent and they will be a light into the dark as they grow up.