Just to be clear...my loneliness is much my own fault (as I tried to mention) - I am not good at opening up to people. I was in no way implicating or indicating anyone or any specific situation and realized that I had not worded my post very well! :)
Something I have most definitely not written much about is infertility. It was (and often still is) absolutely one of the most difficult things I can ever imagine going through. I recently read a Christian study that concluded, after interviewing many people who had gone through both, that infertility is more difficult than divorce to go through. We know pretty much no one around here who has walked that lonely path. We certainly do not long for biological children - we are incredibly blessed with our awesome sons and we could not love them more if they had been born to us - and yet, we will never belong to "the club." Not belonging can be so hard sometimes! And having seen firsthand children without families - we do feel incredibly passionate for them to find homes. There is rarely a day that goes by that I don't think about it!
Anyway, added with the many trials of the year - it has been tough. Writing is therapeutic for me and yet, it is also challenging. I just do not want anyone to think that the post was directed at them. :) It was written as a reflection on why I have struggled to write lately - it was a cathartic post. I do recognize that many people have no idea what we have been through in the past or even in the past few months - and much of that is our own fault.
Take it for what it's worth! :) As a side note - it's interesting to me how many women commented that they also struggle with female relationships and loneliness (for all kinds of reasons) - is it just because we are hard on each other and hard on ourselves? Are we afraid to open up and be real? I am. I know I am. It's so...vulnerable and uncomfortable. In the past couple of years, I have not regretted the times I've opened up - so you would think that would encourage me.... An interesting topic.