Friday, February 17, 2006

What We Did NOT Purchase on HSN...

     Actually, for those of you who have been waiting with great anticipation and inquisitiveness, we’re not going to keep you in suspense much longer regarding the identity of our purchase.  (Is it appropriate to use “identity” when it’s a thing??)  But that revelation is Alaina’s area, unless she otherwise delegates.  So far, she has not.  But I can supply a few hints – or at least, a few statements of what is it not, your excellent guesses notwithstanding.
     (I do apologize for our lack of writing this last week.  It bugs me when others go for long periods without blogging, and then I go and do it [or rather, don’t do it] myself.  I have no excuses other than very long hours at work, home improvement projects, a lightning storm last night, and . . . I’ll think of something else soon, I’m sure.)
     Tom, we love the idea of a dog-bot.  But HSN doesn’t have one, or anything close.  One night in passing we did see dog-steps advertised, to help your small (or old) dog get up on your bed.  Pippi doesn’t need that yet – she can get up quite nicely, thank-you, at least when she wants to.  They also have a deep cleaner that apparently does wonders on pet stains, but unlike your dog-bot, I assume, it doesn’t obey voice commands or act independently.  And I can find no one item that comes close to completing all those tasks; if you find one, please let us know!
     Rebecca, I’m all for your amazing cleaning products, but I don’t see them either, and that’s not what we purchased.
     Kevin, I’d like to get a laptop, and HSN sells them, so that’s a realistic guess, but not our purchase.
     Josh, I thought your suggestions were very original, and wondered if I could find any of them online.  I had no luck with finding electric dog polishers or fur sinks at,, or even ebay (my favorite locator of hard-to-find objects).  Ebay does list a “Rotary Grooming tool Dog Felt Nail polisher buffer,” which you can “buy it now!” for $4.49.  It’s supposedly “The Fast and Easy Way to Trim, Shape, and Smooth Nails.”  Is that what you were talking about?  If you want one, you can check it out here.  While at that seller, I also discovered a “20 lb Pet dogs Legs out Padded Front Dog Carrier tote.”  I think it looks so funny, and am certain you would get some second, if not third, looks wearing it carrying Bailey!  (Especially if you were out on a walk with Catherine carrying Hannah similarly!!  I can so picture it, and the hilarious reactions you would get!)
     So, my fruitless quasi-shopping trip made me wonder if such things existed at all, or if you made them all up.  I am concluding that either great minds think alike – including yours and quite a few others – or you have heard of some of those objects before.  I found mentions of electric dog polishers here, and they are also included on a list of useless inventions (some of the other items are also quite funny!).  Electric dog polishers also show up on The Motley Fool site in the following example of economics:

When there is only one bidder for an electric dog polisher, the chances for mispricing are infinitely higher than when thousands of investors bid every day on the present price of IBM or Pfizer stock.

Elsewhere, I found the comment that “[i]nventing an electric dog polisher is an interesting concept, but the market would be extremely limited.”  I think HSN is probably looking for more marketable products, but then, late night television is probably the time and place for such a product, were it to be sold.
     But what makes me suspicious that your ideas are not totally original, other than the microwave socks, is the following quote, provided by the good folks at B&N:

After he became nationally famous as a comedian, Martin joked that his new wealth had allowed him to buy "some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks, got a fur sink ... let's see ... an electric dog-polisher, a gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater ... and of course I bought some dumb stuff, too." Actually, Martin is a serious art collector whose purchases include paintings and drawings by Roy Lichtenstein, Francis Bacon, Pablo Picasso and David Hockney.

And hey, maybe the microwave socks are an updated form of the gas-powered sweater??  
     Regardless of your originality, however, it was a great idea.  Unfortunately, your guess is incorrect.  For the real thing, you’ll have to wait for Alaina’s reveal.

1 comment:

Josh said...

Drat! You figured out that Steve Martin was the inspiriation for my guesses. If only I had remembered the gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater!