I'm often asked if it's been great having a newborn and while my answer is yes, I have absolutely loved it, it's been a bit bittersweet. The past 8 months have also been very hard - hard as I more fully realize the neediness of infants. It pains my heart that I wasn't able to be there for my other two. I feel so sad that they didn't have someone nurturing and taking care of them. And while I know that their caregivers did the best that they could and they loved our children (that was clear), the reality is that they couldn't possibly attend to every need. So while these months have been so fun watching Ty grow and develop, they have also deeply touched my heart. It has effected my parenting style and parenting decisions. I definitely tend towards attachment parenting and I know it's because of our experience in the orphanages and our experience now as parents of a newborn.
So you see, my heart has been heavy in the midst of joy. It has been amazing and I wouldn't trade our experiences for the world but that won't stop the sad realization of the months we missed and of the children now who are waiting. But I'm so thankful for each of my children and thankful that God knew when each of them needed to come to us. I'm thankful for their growth and development and the many, many moments we do get to enjoy!
And I hug my kids a little closer, spoil them just a little, and pray.