Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Thoughts On Marriage

I think that The Bachelor is just more proof of why so many marriages end in divorce. Clearly he measured relationships by feelings and not commitment (this was evident throughout the season). What a tragic and sad saga that I'm afraid is all too common. And I'm not saying that feelings of love and passion aren't important but rather that there is SO MUCH more to relationships and marriage.

Marriage is hard work and not every day is sunshine but the commitment is so worth it. The way we deal with the challenges that come, truly make or break the relationship. In our limited experience, we have found that difficult circumstances, devastating news, unimaginable pain and lonely heart break made us work harder at communication and ultimately deepened our love and commitment. While going through those trials didn't (and don't) always make things easy, we know that we are in this for the long haul.

How thankful I am for God's work in our lives to bring us together, for challenging and sustaining us, for giving us examples of couples who honor Him, and for teaching us that love is way more than a feeling. And perhaps most of all for keeping us deeply in love through everything!

11 comments:

Urban Mamma said...

I like to quote my hubby here...if marriage were all about feelings and lovey-dovey things, there would be no reason to take vows.

Jill said...

Alaina, I am with you 100%!
Hugs, Jill

Merrilee said...

I totally agree. Marriage is tough but totally worth it. And when you get through a tough patch, you come out stronger as a couple. But it's hard to get through those patches. I think so many people enter marriage thinking it's going to be all roses and moonlight but there is also a fair bit of dirty laundry and cat puke on the floor. Reality can sink in very quickly. Sorry for the gross imagery.

Jean Marie Bibby said...

Amen.

Jennifer M said...

Absolutely! Amen.

Jenna said...

Very true. I think the Bachelor is just bizarre on many levels and I hope that no one thinks that these people (who have dated for six weeks, at maximum) are ready for marraige (luckily it is only an engagement which, though regrettable, is not as binding). Really when you hear the contests speak off the record they admit that they aren't ready after knowing one another such a short time. But let's face it... emotions sell a lot more television than commitment does.

Reid and I are very lucky in this day and age to have both sets of our parents still married and I think that gave us an important framework on which to build our marriage... sometimes you have to work to stay in love (and to stay connected). And a lot of people just aren't willing to do that (and unfortunately both in the relationship have to be).

Rona's Home Page said...

My husband and I have known each other for 21 years. We've been together for 14 years and married 12 years. And I knew he was the one by our third date.
During those years, we've changed and grown up together. Our core values, for our raising our son, commitment to each other and our community are very strong.
We've fought and been angry with each other but never walked out on each other.
Friendship is so important and that wasn't there in this situation.

kitzkazventure said...

So True, So True!

Sorry about the Pink eye...we would be in trouble if Nick got it too because he loves to touch everything...especially our faces...eek! ;)

EmilyAnne said...

Alaina, you are exactly right. The first year was rough, but totally worth it. After 10 years of a great committed marriage, there is such a teamwork approach to life that refreshes and protects me. I don't have to take on the world alone - I have the best partner. Sure, we have fought, been sick, or exhausted but those aren't the things that stand out over time in a real marriage. It is totally worth it. How blessed our extended family is to have seen real marriage modeled all around us all these years!

Holly said...

You have no idea how this post hits home for me right now!
-H

CityStreams said...

Wow. You hit the nail on the head. It always makes me nervous to talk about this sort of thing though. Maybe I'm too superstitious. So I'm gonna jet quick.