Monday, January 12, 2009

Learning to Love

Lately I've been considering what it means to truly love my children. And how I can express that in a way that communicates to them. In many ways, it's easy to love them - they are my children, plain and simple. They are a part of me, they became a part of this family because of our marriage. And they are precious gifts from God. Even with all of that, I've been pondering how I can love them better and how I can more effectively give them confidence in my love.

I was challenged at our monthly mom's night out last week to think again about the five love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch - books and concept by Gary Chapman). It is something that I actually think about frequently but more in my relationship to my husband. As I started thinking about how my children communicate love and what that tells me about them, I realized this was the key to learning to love my children better and more fully.

Little did I know just how much this would effect my children. At this point in their lives - Calvin's love language is physical touch, Patrick's is a toss up between quality time & words of affirmation, and Titus is a bit young yet to tell. :) This past week, as I have focused on loving my children the way they love (not necessarily my personal love language), it's been a blessing. I'm seeing them with different eyes and learning to love them in a new way. Their response has been one of increased affection and communication. It's a beautiful thing to see.

Being a mom is a privilege - one I try never, never to take for granted. God has entrusted these children to my (our) care. It is a blessing - they are a blessing. I love them with everything in me and learning to love them better makes me want to burst with happiness. I pray God continually teaches me how to be the wife and mom He wants me to be and that I will always have a teachable heart.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:4-7


BRiehl said...

What a beautiful gift you are giving to your children: to love and know them in a way that speaks to them personally and as individuals. We moms all need to follow your lead. Thanks!

Kim said...

Ok this totally has nothing to do with your beautiful post BUT did you see that Dungey retired!! So sad!

Monica said...

You are a wise mom. I have to remember this very thing sometimes when my kids get whiny or demanding. It only takes a little bit of the right kind of love to get us both back on track. Thanks for the reminder.

wiggins said...

Just last week, we were trying to figure out our girls' love languages as well. I have been challenged because Sarah Grace's language is quality time and that's one thing I don't feel like I have much of right now. It has challenged me to re-prioritize my time and choose what's most important.

Great Scripture passage to match your post. I started teaching these verses to the girls last week. With a little tweaking, the words fit perfectly with the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." We're halfway through and even Caroline is learning the words.


kitzkazventure said...

Great post! I struggle with this even with just one child. Nick's language so far seems to be touch and mine is soooo not that. I have to every day focus on letting him hug and kiss on me as much as he needs. To those who love touch, this sounds almost criminal that I struggle with this but I really have had the Lord's help to be a hugger and a toucher especially in the early days when bonding. I think we were successful as he is the sweetest most loving little one.... But it does take a focused effort and a lot of help from the Lord to get me thru the day sometimes. Again, Great topic! :) Karen

Dan & Kate Ambrose said...

Great post, thanks for sharing!

Rona's Home Page said...

Now that Marcus is 16 years old I am able to really see why we sacrificed and made him our priority!
Even at his young age we'll hear him speak wisdom. "Mom, you work very hard and I appreciate all that you do." "I would never want someone else raising my kids."