Today, I'm just struggling with some things (FYI: it has nothing to do with my husband and children). Sometimes demonstrating love and tolerance to others is the hardest thing in the world. Instead I want to point out hurts and wrongs in a very unkind way.
I spent a 1/2 hour on the phone with one of my wisest counselors (my dad :)) and vented. I needed to talk and he was the right person for the unpleasant job. He wisely advised me to really consider how far to take things and how to address a current issue as well as just listening and understanding. In the grand scheme of things, I know that this is really nothing but it doesn't feel that way today. And it probably won't tomorrow either.
Sometimes life is so unbelievably hard and frustrating. Sometimes I just want to push the "easy" button displayed in all those commercials. But I know in my heart that God uses the challenges to convict me and to further sanctify me. Why does it have to be so painful?!
So friends, pray for me if you will. I'm having a bad day and I need to fix my attitude. The problem is that I really don't want to. There I said it. I'm not ready to let go of this issue. I want to think about it, to justify my feelings, to feel mad, and to complain. I want everyone to see my side of things and agree with me. Yeah, it's a pretty ugly reality and I'm ashamed.
I pray that God may be glorified in me despite me. May He challenge me and give me grace and strength in difficult circumstances. And may He change my heart and fill it with understanding and love for others.